I'd Trade My Body For Vince Wilfork's In A Heartbeat

I can’t really decide if that headline is obvious or not? I guess that says a lot about my body at the moment, but whatever. I don’t mean I’d trade my sloppy mess for the athletic ability of a Patriot great, I mean I’d strictly trade the meat on my skeleton for the meat on his. I understand that a 27 year old shouldn’t exactly be saying that about 34 year olds who are known to be historically people large, but that’s the way this cookie crumbles. For some reason I’m fascinated with Big Vince’s body. Sure, it might be homosexuality but I don’t think that’s it. I’ve studied this clip time and time again and it’s just…. it’s great. He’s fat, but he’s also bodybuilder jacked, and at the same time he’s really not that fat? Vince Wilfork’s body is like a human Rorschach. It’s like a piece of art, every time you look at it you think something different about it depending on how you’re feeling at the moment, and I’m a billionaire collector who simply must have it. I don’t need the rings, don’t need the Pro Bowls, I just need to get rid of this flabby, gross mess I’ve got and I would without a doubt ride in Vince’s model.