Watching Marshawn Lynch Test Drive Cars Is The Most Entertaining Video You Will Watch Today

I’m not a car guy. Quite the opposite, actually. My eyes glaze over whenever someone starts talking cars. I’m not sure if that’s because I always drifted to sports or if it’s because I’m as handy as a dead squirrel. And I’m definitely not a 5 minute long video guy. Twitter and the On Demand culture we live in killed my patience years ago. So putting those two together would usually cause me to quickly scroll to the next offering of the Internet Gods. But I am a huge Marshawn Lynch guy. Cannot get enough Beast Mode on TV. He has the Midas Touch, except everything he touches turns to #content platinum. I said in my blog last week that he should be on pregame football shows (namely Inside The NFL on Showtime so he can curse). Which is why when I saw this message, I knew the video was going to be legit.
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Ohhhh shit, Beast Mode is really about to let loose! Marshawn is pure electricity in front of the camera, whether he is talking about how “mans don’t take selfies with other mans” or explaining how a removable center console helps girls give roadhead. I don’t know if The Big Swingin’ Dick would ever want to get Marshawn on the Barstool payroll, but I need more Beast Mode in my life and there was LOTS of “El Presidente” name drops in that video. Sure it could be car related, but I feel like Marshawn would fit in famously on The Pirate Ship. It doesn’t even have to be about football. He makes watching other people play video games fun. He makes watching people drive cars fun. Marshawn Lynch just has “it”. You can’t teach “it”, but Marshawn has “it” in spades. And I need him to become either my coworker or new best friend.