Kudos To This 100-Year-Old Woman Who Credits Long Life To 6 Drinks Of Gin A Day
England – As she celebrated her 100th birthday with family and friends, Mabel raised her glass and predicted her favourite tipple would see her through years to come. Fit as a fiddle, Mabel only gave up smoking three years ago on doctors’ advice, but there was no way she was going to stop downing her favourite drink. She sad: “I have two at lunchtime, one at tea time with a biscuit and then three more during the evening while I do my knitting. I swear the gin keeps me young!” Mabel, who lives in a residential home in Stowmarket in Suffolk, has been drinking gin for 82 years and even knows how many bottles she had got through in that time. “I worked it out one night when I couldn’t get to sleep. Instead of counting sheep, I counted gins. You get around 35 measures in a bottle, so as I always have six a day it takes me around a week to get through a bottle. I know this because I buy one every Wednesday from the Co-Op. On that basis I buy 52 bottles a year, making 4,264 bottles since I started. That’s quite an achievement!”
Yes, Mabel. Living 82 fun-filled years as a full-functioning alcoholic is quite an achievement. And sticking solely with Gin, too. A bold play if I’ve ever seen one. The first shot of alcohol my naive middle school ass ever tasted was straight Beefeaters. That swig of rustic pine needles dipped in fire took a decade off my life. And here is Mabel hagging away the years going through at least a bottle a week. All you can do is tip the cap to the old bag of bones and her liver made of steel. If anything Mabel needs to ship some of her gin over to our favorite centenarian Flossie Dickey and have her live a little. We need Flossie kicking around for at least another 110 years.
Flossie Dickie you sassy old bag of bones you! I love this woman. It’s either she doesn’t give a royal FUCK or she legitimately doesn’t know where she is anymore. Probably a happy medium. But how about this bimbo treating Ms. Dickey like she’s a 5-year-old? Let Flossie take her 10th nap of the day in hopes of never waking up. No shit all she wants is whiskey straight up and to sleep. That’s what happens when you’ve worn out your welcome on Earth a good 20+ years. I’m lucky my daily consumption of red meat and alcohol won’t allow me to live past 50 to worry about having to deal with jackass morning TV personalities when I’m a buck 10. But, hey, at least she got her Good Day coffee mug! That should make up for wanting to be dead.
And I’m not gonna lie, Flossie doesn’t look a day over 95. This broad is right up Nate’s alley. Don’t fight it, live it!