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Game of Thrones Episode 8 Recap: A Girl Is A Total Badass

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If Game of Thrones is setting us up for an explosive finish, they’re going to get us as close to the edge as they can before they hit detonate. Last night was eventful but not the chaotic bloodbath a lot of us were expecting. We got a few Clegane fatalities straight out of Mortal Kombat, but other than that, the episode was more heavy on plot progression than spectacle. But I am entirely fine with that, because given the preview for next Sunday’s show, it looks like next week episode is going to legitimately be the best moment of my life. Let’s get to that in a minute though.

Instead, let’s start off by talking about the younger Clegane, the Hound. Ever since his improbable second chance at life, everything the show is suggesting seems to point to some type of redemption tour where Clegane can fight for principle, not gold, and use his unending cynicism to cleanse the world of evil, not justify it. Are the Brotherhood Without Banners a possible factor in the fight against Ramsay and Jon next week? Are they heading North of the Wall to meet White Walkers? Who knows, the current purpose for the Brotherhood or what their intentions are is still extremely vague. But they are certainly right about one thing. The true Gods of Westeros (the writers) kept Clegane alive for a reason. Whatever his purpose will be, it has to be significant, and that means he’ll be fighting for more than just gold or anger.

Normally swinging an axe to take out four bandits would be the best kill of a typical episode of Thrones, but for poor Sandor it wasn’t even the best in his own family. The Mountain had one of the more gruesome moments of the season with a casual skull rip (I love how every Mountain kill this season has been with his bare hands, not a sword by the way), causing a few Sparrows who like to puff their chest out that they’re godly men who don’t care about pain or death to look very, very, very afraid. Of course for Cersei, her best weapon the Mountain is a bullet that can’t be fired, with Tommen banning trials by combat in his never-ending quest to see exactly how much he can suck. That sucks for Cersei because with her political influence completely annihilated (think of how much it must’ve killed her to receive a direct order from the High Sparrow. Cersei hates being told what to do and the lower-class, and a peasant priest giving her a command like a maid), the Mountain was her one card to play. Now she’s basically Tim Wakefield without his knuckleball or JJ Reddick without his three-point shot, it was her one gamechanger and without it she’s lost. Now she has to find one more trick to pull, a mysterious “rumor” that Qyburn was able to confirm. The prevailing theory is that it’s the existence of Wildfire stores from the Mad King days stashed beneath Kings Landing. But c’mon, would Cersei really burn an entire city, of mostly innocents no less, to the ground just to prove a point?

Ummmmm, yes. Yes. Yes she absolutely would do that.

I wonder if Jaime would be willing to do that too. In one of the show’s signature exposition scenes that are my favorite moments of the series, the Kingslayer with the second “The things I do for love” since we saw him push Bran out a window (seriously, can you believe that was how we were introduced to Jaime and now most of the audience actually LIKES him) finally confirms what his central motivation is. I guess some people fight for money, some for God, some for country, some for glory, and some for the right to have an incestuous sexual affair. Different strokes for different folks, we’re all unique snowflakes. Anyway, with a well-placed catapult threat he was able to secure Riverrun and now will be able to return home, once more a conquering hero. To identify that as a hostage, Edmure was useless to him and could be far better used inside the walls of the city than outside of it was brilliant, and shows that however twisted and deranged you might think he is, he’s still one of the most seasoned and savvy players of the Game of Thrones. Don’t weep for the Blackfish either; the old grizzled bastard knew exactly how he wanted to go down, and got the ending he wanted and definitely expected. The person I’d be most worried for is Brienne, who seems devastated at her failure to secure Tully support for the upcoming Battle for Winterfell. It was nice to see her and Jaie reunited again, the unlikely friends who while they may have vastly different worldviews about pragmatism versus idealism, moral dichotomies versus grey areas, are able to bond over shared core principles like loyalty and the fact they might be the only two people in the world who fully respect and appreciate the other.

The third Lannister, Tyrion, is also trying to keep it all together, hundreds of miles away. Tyrion values his relationships with others, and has always been at his best when there’s someone at his side to lean on and bounce ideas off of (Shae, Bronn, Jon Snow for a spell, Jaime at moments, Podrick). With Varys gone on a secret mission (I think to find more Targaryans or start doing what he does best, cause divisions and chaos in Westeros), he doesn’t have that, and looks like a college freshman trying to find his friend group, convincing himself he likes the people he’s trying to force to drink with him. I thought the “Only my close friends can drink it” moment about his vineyard fantasy was especially poignant in a tragic way; Tyrion has no friends anymore, a demonstration of just how much all of what he’s been through has cost him. Luckily, Dany showed once again that she has the greatest timing in the world, and with Drogon versus some very wooden, very flammable ships from the Masters, you have to like her odds to keep Mereen. Right now, I’d say the biggest threat Mereen has is with their religious allies. Between Cersei’s encounters with the faith and all the Lord of Light stock that Stannis bought, the track record for manipulating religion for political purposes is….not great. They keep bringing it up for a reason, if that reason hasn’t revealed itself to us yet.

And finally in Essos, Arya has shut the book on a two-season long saga and is finally able to return home leaving a trail of bodies and somewhat meandering plotline behind her. Ever since we saw her blow out a candle, it was clear that Arya’s play against the Waif would be the level the playing field with darkness, where she in her recent blindness would have an upper hand. Now with Jaqan letting her go without a fight, he respects her, and the Many Faced God did get a name after all, Arya doesn’t have to worry about getting chased, meaning we can put this whole Many Faced God thing behind her, sort of like it was a middle school punk rock phase or something. Now Arya is coming to Winterfell with an excellent understanding of how to effectively murder people, a list of names she’d dearly love to also join the Many Faced God, and a family rebellion to support (even if she doesn’t know it yet), I’d expect to see Arya and Needle getting some work in next season in a big way.

Follow me on Twitter @CharlieWisco . Tweet at me questions for next week’s episode or email to them to me CharlieWisco@AOL.com and I’ll answer them in the live Game of Thrones preshow me and Clem are going to do. Listen to this week’s podcast here and buy t-shirts. See y’all next week.

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