The Porn Parody That Nobody Was Asking For Is Officially On It's Way And It's "Hamiltoe"

NYM- Coming soon from WoodRocket — the porn studio that brought you such classics as Game of Bones, Spongeknob Squarenuts, and Assventure Time — is the inevitable Hamilton porn parody. Forget the critical acclaim and the MacArthur Genius grant: Hamiltoe is how Lin-Manuel Miranda knows that he’s finally made it. “Hamiltoe will be revolutionary. It will be the first hip-hop porn musical spoofing a Broadway show, celebrating a historical figure. And it will have anal sex,” producer Lee Roy Meyers said in a press release. Hamiltoe is slated to premiere on WoodRocket in August 2016 — and considering that Hamilton tickets are sold out until January 2017 (when they will then promptly sell out again), this may be your only chance to see the musical. Just picture everyone not naked.

Porn producers have the easiest job in the world. Even easier than the porn stars who just get to have sex for a living. All porn producers have to do is scan pop culture, see what’s popular and make a porn parody of it. That’s really it. What’s hot in the news right now? Make a porn parody where Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton fuck each other. Make a porn where Donald Trump fucks Megyn Kelly. Make A TMNT porno. People will watch them. This Hamilton parody is the perfect example. Hamilton is the hottest thing in the streets right now and has been for the past like 18 months. Might as well make a porn about it! People are obviously gonna watch it. If there’s a market for the real Hamilton musical then there’s absolutely a market for the porn parody of it. I don’t even know what Hamilton the actual musical is about but I’ll probably still check out the porn about it. Hollywood studios do this with remakes nowadays. The reason so there are so many more remakes now is because there’s already a built-in audience. It lowers the risk of a flop. Apparently the same rules apply to porn.