The Future Is Now - Pre Crime Is Now Officially A Thing

Activist Post – It was recently reported that the Chicago Police Department has implemented an Orwellian new program that targets innocent citizens based on indicators that they might be a person who has the potential to carry out a crime. Similar to dystopian films like Minority Report, a complex computer algorithm will track and catalog every citizen in the city, and use private data about each person to determine whether or not they could be a potential criminal. Once an innocent civilian has been labeled as a threat, they are then notified that they have been marked as a potential criminal and that they are now under police surveillance. This disturbing program has quietly been in place for over three years, and in that time, government agents have visited the homes of more than 1,300 innocent people who had high numbers on the list, to inform them that they are now regarded as potential criminals. According to the New York Times, Police Superintendent Eddie Johnson says that officials this year are stepping up those visits, with at least 1,000 more people. “We are targeting the correct individuals. We just need our judicial partners and our state legislators to hold these people accountable,” Johnson insisted.

Finally, society. Way to get with the goddam times. Spielberg came up with this shit in 2002 in Minority Report. 2002! The fact that it took this long to make this a reality is second only to the fact that there STILL isnt a goddam Back to the Future hoverboard. But anyway, lets not be negative. Lets focus on the positive. Pre Crime is here and that means we’re cleaning up civilization in a major way. Since the dawn of humanity every time tragedy strikes, theres always a million people saying “I knew it. I knew that was coming. That dude had XYZ written all over him.” Every fucking time. And if we just had the technology and the balls to lock those fuckers up ahead of time we could have avoided so much violence and crime.

And I know people are gonna be up in arms about freedom and rights and all that other shit. Guess what? If you’re complaining about Pre Crime being unfair, guess what that is?? Fucking Pre Crime! Lock em up! Complaining about Pre Crime is exactly what a pre criminal would say. I dont have any plans on committing any violent crimes so go right the fuck ahead! Pre Crime it up! Its like the same thing as people who complain about NSA wire tapping and shit. If you got nothing to hide then who cares.

PS – Obviously this can only apply to like major, major crimes. Pre Crime fro drugs is just a waste of government resources.

PPS – I love how they tested this in Chicago. Not sure thats exactly the most controlled experiment. Lets find all the people in Chicago who might shoot someone! Run the machine! *Displays 2.1 million results*