Fat American Fan Pissing In Pavel Datsyuk's Skates At The World Championships Must Not Fear Death At All
Pavel Datyuk and the Russians beat Team USA in the Bronze Medal game at the 2016 Worlds over the weekend. But as Datsyuk was awarded the bronze medal, his skates seemed to be getting a gold shower from this giant tub of lard. Now the fact that the video is being posted by an account called “Viral Videos 2016″ and the guy talking in the background sounds pretty goddamn suspicious is leading me to believe there’s a possibility I’m getting JMac’d here. But if this isn’t staged and isn’t fake, well then this fat ass must have the biggest balls on planet Earth. Because people in Russia have been executed for a million times less than this. Pavel Datsyuk is Russian royalty. I’m sure they’d take your eyes out if you even looked at him the wrong way, let alone break into the locker room to piss on his skates. This is a man who is looking death straight in the eyes and telling it to go fuck itself. And in a way, it’s the most American thing I’ve seen in quite some time.
This is how we have to treat all of our enemies. We can’t be fear mongering assholes like Donald Trump. We need to take matters into our own hands and own dicks and show these bastards that we aren’t afraid of them. If ISIS wants to keep putting out all of their beheading videos, we’ll just put out some videos of us pissing on their captured leaders. If North Korea wants to keep putting out propaganda videos about blowing up the white house, we’ll just hit them with some videos of us pissing on Kim Jong-un dopplegangers.
Make America Great Again
Few quick sidenotes: 1) Canada won the gold. 2) 18-year-old Patrik Laine won the MVP of the tournament, the youngest to ever do so. Again, don’t really care about this tournament at all so those are the only two bits of info you need. 3) Not the best look for Matt Hendrick’s #brand if we’re being perfectly honest.