Surviving Barstool | New Episodes Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 8PM ETTUNE IN

Florida Woman Thinks She Found God In Her Newborn Baby's Poopy Diaper

Screen Shot 2016-05-18 at 11.07.44 AM

 

Path- You never know when God will send you a sign. Some people claim He talks to them in their dreams. Some find Him in their toast. And Florida’s Katy Vazquez found Him through her newborn baby. But not through his birth. “Sometimes in our busy, crazy, hectic lives, we forget how wonderful our God is. Today I feel as though he sent me a sign. Saying everything will be okay. I’m right here by your side. This sign came in the oddest form. My babies poop. I went to change his diaper, and he pooped a cross. It might not be the prettiest sign, but he put it where he knew I’d see it. In my babies diaper. Lol. Hard to miss what’s right there in front of you. If you can, or want to, feel free to share the message. That God is with us. And he gives us signs to let us know that things will be OK. It’s not always the prettiest sign, but he puts it where he knows we’ll see it. We’re good most of the time, but God is good all the time. We are one in love yes. Amen. In the name of the Father, the Son, and if the Holy Ghost.”

 

 

I don’t wanna speak on behalf of God or Jesus Christ or whoever is running the show but He’s gotta be super pissed about this. It’s one thing if religious people find signs of Jesus in their bagels or moldy bread or the trunk of a tree or wherever. He’s probably down with that. Spread the gospel and all that jazz. But it’s a whole different ball game when somebody claims to have found God in the form of human shit. That’s where God has to draw the line. At no point is it a good look when somebody says, “Hey this piece of poop reminds me of you.” Also, this is why Facebook sucks nowadays. Bored Moms are taking pictures of their newborn baby’s shit and posting them on Facebook. That should worry Zuckerberg. Like a lot. I don’t know what demographic is into that type of thing but it’s not a demographic you want. Another thing that should worry Zuckerberg is the oddly high number of girls I went to high school with who are turning into professional body builders. It’s a weird scene man and I don’t get it.

 

PS- Just need everybody to take a step back, take a few seconds and take in how fucking crazy this world is. Poopy diapers making headlines for being signs that God exists. What a time to be alive.