I Have No Problem With Yellowstone Tourists Who Put This Cute Baby Bison In Their Car Because It Looked Cold

HP - Two tourists in Yellowstone National Park allegedly placed a baby bison into their SUV and drove off with the animal.

Karen Richardson told NBC Montana that she was chaperoning a fifth-grade trip to the park when two tourists arrived at the ranger station with the animal in the back of their SUV. She said the pair had taken the calf because they were worried it was cold. The unidentified pair were ticketed, and the animal was returned to where it had been found, the website reported.

A bison expert said the baby animal probably wasn’t healthy and may have been abandoned by its mother, or else it wouldn’t have been caught so easily. “From about 3 days old, they can run up to 30 miles per hour,” bison rancher Troy Westre told NBC Montana. “If the mother is around, she’s going to kill you any chance she gets.”

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That’s the cutest rescue I’ve ever seen. I want Obama to pass this law before President Trump gets into office- if you have the chance to be a hero and save a baby animal, you have to do it. It’s like the Seinfeld law- you can’t just stand around and watch a baby animal shiver. So I think instead of “tourist” we should be using the word “heroes”. Absolute heroes. They saw a wild bison that looked like he could use a sweater, and they knew they had 2 options: 1) put it in their car, or 2) let it die. And those heroes did the right thing and scooped up the lil bison, put it in their trunk, and turned up the heat. They couldn’t stand by and watch the lil fella shiver his tiny little Bambi-on-ice-looking legs off. The only thing they did wrong was take it to the park rangers. I also vote that Obama adds to his legislation that you’re allowed to bring home a baby bison from Yellowstone. And then when it outgrows your home you put it outside and hunt it, but keep in mind you can only bring back 200 pounds to your family.

PS: I did this blog about a woman who started petting a bison, everyone started tweeting me n shit about how bison are practically harmless, how they are the sea otter of the prairie, etc. How they won’t eat your head off and other lies, lies, lies. Au contraire, amigos. Bison don’t mess around. Exhibit A:

TIFO - Wild American bison are one of the most dangerous animals to encounter in the United States.  In Yellowstone National Park alone, nearly five times as many people are killed by bison than by bears every year.  The bison can reach speeds of up to 35 miles per hour and are surprisingly nimble, making them difficult to avoid if they attack, which they do with little provocation.

Yeah, not so safe meow, are they? I mean yeah maybe they won’t actually eat humans, but they’ll run your ass over. Get one of those horns up your bhole, you’ll be singing a different tune.