100 Year Old Woman Who Broke The World Record For The 100 Meter Sprint In Her Age Group Can Take Her Life Advice And Shove It

Good for Ida Keeling, I genuinely mean that. An hundred meter sprint at 100 years old without a heart attack is no joke, I don’t care if you did it in a minute or a decade, it’s impressive. But get down off your rickety high horse with these keys to longevity. “Eat for health but not for taste and exercise every day”? First of all, you really cracked the code with that one. Eat healthy and work our to live, who woulda thunk it? How very original. Secondly, why the hell would I do that? So I can be 100 and wobble down the Penn Relay track while people kind of pity cheer/it’s also funny/maybe some are genuinely moved? No thanks, Ida. I don’t need to flame out on this earth. I’ll eat fat, live slow, and die young. Not gonna deprive myself of cheeseburgers and Netflix so one day, long after I wish I’d died, I can “run” down a track. I’ll go at 50 on the couch, obese, alone, and happy.