Study Shows That Some Female Spiders Force Male Spiders To Perform Oral Sex

Daily Mail- When it comes to mating, spiders have long been known to partake in activities that aren’t exactly vanilla. From genital mutilation to sexual cannibalism, spiders have a ‘rich sexual repertoire’ – one that’s now been expanded to include oral sex. In a recent study, researchers from Slovenia were surprised to observe male Madagascan Darwin’s bark spiders performing ‘cunnilingus-like’ oral sexual contact on females. And they did it up to 100 times in one session. Female Madagascan Darwin’s bark spiders, Caerostris darwini, are 14 times heavier than males on average and 2.3 times larger. The species was recently discovered by Matjaž Kuntner, the senior author on the paper published today in Scientific Reports, and chair of the Biological Institute ZRC SAZU. While studying the mating behaviour of these spiders, the researchers weren’t surprised to observe sexual cannibalism and genital mutilation. But, they were not expecting to witness oral sexual contact, in which the males routinely salivate onto the females’ genitalia.

Spiders, man. Fuck spiders. I almost didn’t even blog this story because I didn’t wanna have to Google a spider picture for the thumbnail. That’s how much I hate/am terrified of spiders. What good are they? Honesty. I’m willing to let whatever butterfly effects happen if we all agree to wipe spiders off the face of the earth. Gone forever. Think how great that would be. Heart attacks would fall by like 40% without spiders. And now we find out that chick spiders are making dude spiders eat them out? Sometimes 100 times during a single session? Cheese and rice. Barbaric insects. I’d also like to take the scientists who did this study and wipe them off the face of the earth too. They’re just as bad as the spiders. If you’re so interested in spiders that you found out they like to have oral sex, you’re fucked in the head. Get off my planet. Now I’m gonna be thinking about spiders eating spider pussy for the rest of the day and into the night and the nightmares are gonna be brutal. Great.