Chris Christie Says He Would Have Barged Into The NFL Draft and Arrested Laremy Tunsil The Second He Saw The Gas Mask Bong Video

“It’s unbelievable,” Christie said. “Because the bong hits aren’t enough. Give me the gas mask too. It’s incredible. I can’t take my eyes off it. It’s unbelievable.”

Earlier in the interview, Christie, who opposes marijuana legalization, said, “When I was a prosecutor, I would’ve gone in and cuffed this guy,” adding, “I would’ve been all over it.”

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It is unbelievable. Uneblievable that Chris Christie is not a prosecutor anymore. Unbelievable that the world is being denied the opportunity to see Chris Christie do things like interrupt a live NFL draft to arrest a kid for smoking weed on video. Barging in while Goodell stands at the podium holding out a jersey smiling for pictures, some sort of WWF theme blaring from the speakers. I mean I’m not the only one who immediately pictured the Kool Aid man right?

Chris Christie just busting the fuck in to the NFL Draft in Chicago with 3-4 Troopers, pulling the cuffs out of one of their holsters, and slapping them right onto Laremy Tunsil’s wrists. Hauling him out through the gigantic hole in the wall he just created and stuffing him in the back of a squad car. On what charges you might ask? Smoking an unidentified substance in a video taken 3-4 years ago and leaked by a blackmailer illegally? I don’t know, who gives a fuck, Chris Christie will prosecute any motherfucker he wants.

I don’t think I could love and appreciate the character of Chris Christie anymore. It’s borderline unhealthy at this point.

Chris Christie Doing Things, already my favorite segment on the internet:

Playing Softball

Watching Softball

Dancing In Place

Dancing at Concerts

Eating M&Ms and popcorn