Chinese Bulldozer Fights Are The Closest Thing We're Ever Gonna Get To Transformers

That’s it, people. That’s as close as we’re going to get. We’ll never have Bumblebee and Megatron flying around and protecting the earth drom the Decepticons, but we’ll always have this YouTube video of some John Deere’s swinging their buckets around and ramming into one another at full speed. And I’m OK with that. If the Chinese market has any sense they’re creating a new show based on this one clip, like Robot Wars only the driver is also laying his life on the line. Could perhaps even put an Asian spin on the program where the loser also has to put eels in his ass, or something humiliating, because it’s just not an Asian gameshow unless someone leaves on the verge of suicide.

One particularly odd thing about this video though? They’re fighting for the right to work. According to The Guardian:

The construction workers were from two companies competing for business, Xu Feng, a local government spokesman in Hebei province’s Xingtang county, said on Monday. He said he couldn’t disclose details about arrests or injuries until an investigation was concluded.

China’s construction sector has fallen on hard times, with growth down by two-thirds from its peak a decade ago. Real estate construction represents close to a quarter of China’s economy, a far higher proportion than other major countries, and its slowdown was sending ripples through industrial sectors such as steel, glass and cement, causing waves of layoffs.

Imagine going to futuristic war for your blue collar employee? Some other gang rolls into the work site with bulldozers I’d just be like “Ok you guys fucking build it, I’m gonna go sit in the John all day.” You want me to get in a fight for my life THEN work construction? No thanks, pal. I’ll just go be a rickshaw driver instead.

PS – Keep the buckets down, morons. Low man wins, ever heard of it?