In A Day Full Of Kobe Fanboys, Rovell Reigned Supreme
Here’s what I learned last night. 1) That was a really fun sporting event, one of those games where you just sit back and say “this is why I love sports”. 2) Kobe Stans are the fucking worst. I tweeted these airballs and people flipped out that I wasn’t telling the whole story and taking shots out of context even though Kobe took FIFTY shots last night and had a half dozen air balls.
And then you had twitter accounts like SB Nation acting like this was the most meaningful moment in the world. “No, if you’re fucking crying about Kobe Bryant then you’re a fucking loser”.
And 3) Darren Rovell is the world’s biggest Kobe Stan. Chief Stan. Dude was obsessed with Kobe yesterday. I think he had 200+ tweets just for Kobe. It was the perfect storm for him. Like imagine hitting the lottery and fucking the hottest girl in the world. That was last night for our boy D money. Not only does he love Kobe but a final game means T-Shirts, commemorative plaques, trinkets, ticket prices, fun fact trivia and hats galore. Every other second there was a new Kobe thing on sale and Rovell was on Cloud 9. So much so that this was the question that he asked last night in the Press conference.
“Hey Kobe, I love your smell and I want to get an apartment with you, you’re the best ever, what does that mean to you?”
And listen, I love Rovell, he’s my guy. He’s self aware and he doesn’t care. But holy fuck are the Kobe fanboys the worst. I actually really enjoyed watching that game last night in the 4th quarter but if you weren’t sucking Kobe’s dick or “crying” on the internet then you were somehow anti-Kobe. Like I said yesterday, if you aren’t from Asia or a diehard Lakers fan, crying or obsessing over Kobe to the point where you get upset at anyone bringing up the fact that he took 50 shots last night is absolutely insane. Kobe fans are like if hockey twitter and car guys had a baby then slapped an egg on their twitter avatar with a mamba background. Get a grip.