Turns Out You Can't Get Drunk, Water Your Lawn While Naked And Toss Empty Beer Bottles At Police

Bakersfield- Neighbors called police after seeing a naked man watering his lawn Wednesday evening. When Deputies got there they say he was sitting in his yard drinking a beer – yes – still naked. According to a press release, 37-year-old Robert Lopez refused to put on clothes when asked, throwing the glass beer bottle at them. The bottle missed, but Lopez continued threatening the deputy, saying “that he would get a gun and shoot him.” With the situation escalating, the deputy called for backup, and got his rifle from the car for protection. Lopez eventually put on a pair of shorts and went inside, coming back out with a knife with an 8 inch blade that he threw at the deputy. Once backup arrived, they used a bean bag round from a shotgun, which hit Lopez, and allowed authorities to place him into custody.

Well that’s some bull shit. I’m sorry I thought this was America. The land of the free, home of the brave and place where it’s cool to hang out in your own lawn totally and completely naked. My lawn, my rules. His lawn, his rules. Or at least that’s how it should be. Sometimes you wanna let the boys get some air. Might as well get some chores done while you’re at it. Have a couple of brews and water the lawn in your birthday suit. What a bunch of prudes that called the cops. My only guess is that it was because it was on a Wednesday. People get a little freaked out when somebody gets black out drunk and does a little landscaping (maybe a little manscaping while he’s at it) in the middle of the week. Do this on a Friday or Saturday night and that’s called a party. However, I would avoid the part where he said he was gonna get a gun and shoot the police. At that point you deserve to be hit with a bean bag and arrested.

I can’t tell if these are his real tattoos or not. They look more like he passed out in a frat house and everybody looks turns drawing on him