Jason Sudeikis’ Pickup Line To Olivia Wilde Was So Genius

“You know, whatever you’re looking for, you don’t need it.”

What the fuck!? What does it mean!? Nobody knows what it means, but it’s provocative. It gets the people going. And that’s how Justin Sudeikis ends up fucking Olivia Wilde. I’m never using any other pickup line ever again. No more introducing myself, no more small talk about “so what do you do?”, nothing. See girl, drop the “whatever you’re looking for, you don’t need it” line, leave. I guess at some point you have to circle back and get her number, which I really would have appreciated Olivia expand on how that works (you know, just in general), but the pickup line is good enough for now. Baby steps for Nate. Baby steps.

PS: Worst pickup line ever? Glad you asked. I was at a bar and there was this girl who looked rather punk-rocky. Might have even had gauges in her ears, can’t remember, but you know what I mean, just had that punk look to her. So me, Casanova himself, asked her what her favorite Angels and Airwaves song was. She looked at me like I had 4 heads and I dove out the nearest 3rd floor window. Now I have a much easier time, as I just totally don’t talk to girls at all.

PS: Speaking of talking to girls at bars it’s just about the one year anniversary of me being vomited on at a bar, #NeverForget