Tiger On The Loose On The Highway In The Middle East

I cannot wait…CANNOT WAIT…for this tiger to maul the fucking shit out of that guy. Its only a matter of time before he’s cruising down the highway barking out orders at that tiger and next thing you know one paw swipe to the head from the back seat and everyone’s dead in a 15 car pile up. CAN’T WAIT.

I’ll tell ya, man, some of these Middle Eastern ballers just have too much money for their own good. You reach a point where you just got too much money. You have too many cool things. Too much shit. Eventually you’re like “I dunno, what else can I buy? How about I get a fucking tiger?” Plus over there you got a ton of access to exotic animals. Like me? If I was some super wealthy tycoon I would have a baller ass house hooked up to the max with anything and everything to enhance comfort, and then I would start acquiring humans. I’d buy a chef, a masseuse, a driver, a landscaper etc etc etc. I’d own an army of servants but all of them would be in the 120-200 pound range (no fat servants allowed) and they’d never threaten my life with overwhelming force and power. I feel like in Qatar you can go down to the flea market and get  a tiger if you got the cash. You can get a tiger by 2pm. Too much money in too weird of a country.

So yea, right now this tiger is a baby and looks like Duncan when its cold out and I’m trying to go inside and he wants to stay out. Yea its all fun and games when he’s on a leash and you’re petting him and trying to drag him into the backseat of your Lexus. But one day he’s going to maul you and your loved ones and you’re gonna deserve every bit of it.