Ben Carson's Primary Party Was So Boring The Bartender Knitted A Blanket Instead Of Bartending
(Source) – As it became apparent that only 2% of New Hampshire primary goers had voted for Ben Carson, the mood at his election night party was sombre. At least, the mood among Carson’s supporters was sombre. His campaign director, Bob Dees, was remarkably chipper. “This is not even below expectations for the campaign,” Dees, a retired general, told the Guardian. Carson, a retired surgeon, briefly led the national polls in September, but that support has dwindled amid questions over his foreign policy expertise and, latterly, availability of laundered clothing and ability to successfully walk on to a stage. “Obviously you’d like to do better, but this is not damaging for the campaign,” Dees said. It was about 9.30pm at this point. Donald Trump had already been declared the Republican winner, John Kasich was running second. Carson was in eighth place. The attendance at the party briefly peaked at about 50 people. It wasn’t much of a party. Supporters milled around chatting. Food was served. There were two bars set up but neither was inundated. A woman working behind one of them spent much of her time knitting a blanket. There were six separate clusters of balloons spread around the room. The balloons were red, white and blue. The local New Hampshire television station played during the party. It showed live footage from all the main presidential candidates’ celebration parties. All except this one. The Guardian was the sole representative of the journalistic profession.
This certainly isn’t a surprise, as Ben Carson has none of the attributes that you usually attach to a fun party. He’s black, for starters, which may seem racist but in my very limited experience with black person hosted parties, I feel like they’re less crazy. White people like to get hammered on Fireball and act like idiots, I feel like black people are more of a relaxed, quiet drunk. I guess alcohol makes you the opposite of what your stereotype is in real life, or something? Good to know. He’s also a neurosurgeon, which is a total snooze, and a god freak, not sure if you knew this but they’re not huge on imbibing unless it’s full of divine white blood cells.
But how about his campaign manager saying it’s not damaging to the campaign? You’re gotta get the people excited, Bob Dees, and a party so boring that the bartender is knitting a blanket does not do that trick. It’s very damaging to the campaign. I didn’t know anything about Ben Carson and now I don’t need to know anything, because he’s a bore. We all just want to vote for someone we could have a beer with, I did a survey and that’s all the American people (me and Louis) care about. Can we have a beer with him? Obama? I could have a beer. Bush? I could DEFINITELY have a beer and perhaps a line. Clinton? I could have 50 beers. That’s like the number one most important thing in a presidential election. So yeah, I’d say this is pretty damaging to the campaign, you’re so boring and lame that you’re own supporters don’t even want to relax and grab a cold one with you. Knitting is a better option and that’s the most boring thing on the planet. It’s so boring the only people who do it were born before televisions. Knitting became popular out of necessity and because the only other option was reading.
And you wonder why Trump is kicking your ass.
