Using A Plastic Spoon, Army Ranger Kills Enemy Combatant Trying To Blow Them Up

(Source) – For now I’m going to leave names out of this because he didn’t want his name out there but I’ve confirmed the story with people that were there and know him so if you do know his name please don’t post it in the comments.

This hard dick mofo may be the only person as of now, to have a confirmed killed with a MRE spoon It’s about time someone put those spoons to good use. Anyways, at the time of this his unit was tasked with assaulting an very strategic point in Iraq. It just so happens the individual mentioned here was attached to a Ranger Battalion during this time.

The story goes something like this. A small group of rangers were ordered to clear a building. As the group of rangers approached this particular building, they were unaware that roughly four hostile combatants wait inside. The rangers stack the door, reach to breach. As they breach and enter the building, they are met with an exchange of gunfire. Without hesitation, they return fire, killing all but one enemy combatant. Although one fighter was alive, it took a few moments for the rangers to realize the hostile was attempting to pull the pin on a live, handheld grenade.

Being only feet away, our ranger buddy’s instincts and training took over. He rushed the enemy, immediately engaging in hand to hand combat. As they wrestle, this ranger can’t seem to get to his knife due to all of his gear being in the way.  Again, without hesitation, he reaches for the first solid object he could get his hands on; an MRE spoon!

After grabbing the spoon, he began stabbing the enemy in the neck until he was dead.

As a fearless leader, he’s spoken in the highest regards from the friends of his I’ve been fortunate enough to speak with. It’s stories like these that show the hard times, the ground fighting, and doing what you have to do to survive.

This Ranger’s actions saved the lives of several other men that day. A task many men might brag about. Rather, he remains in the shadows and asks for no glorification. If you know this man, please help him remain anonymous by not tagging, calling or harassing him about it.

I’m extremely grateful to have served the same country as this man.

Anyways, good shit. Beat your face!

Now this is from a website called “Grunt Stuff,” which appears to be something of a military blog. So while it says “confirmed kill,” I’m not sure if it’s confirmed confirmed. But guess what? I believe him, yo. I don’t know why, but I do. As far as I’m concerned, all special forces units are comprised entirely of Jason Bournes, and I’ve seen that dude kill someone with a pen and a newspaper. Why wouldn’t they be able to do with with a plastic spoon?

Just a lovely little story about a dead terrorist for your Wednesday morning. He thought he was going to take out a bunch of Rangers, go meet Allah and fuck his virgins for eternity but in the words of Lee Corso, not so fast, my friend! You may have a grenade but there’s a soldier with the training to kill you using 10,000 different methods standing in your way, and he’s armed with a spork. You’ve got no shot.

Meanwhile, my tub is still filled with water because I have a clogged drain and couldn’t figure out how to use Drano last night. Slightly different levels of masculinity, in my opinion.