Gronk Went On Conan And Shared A Story About The Time He Was A Male Stripper For A Night

No one tells a story like Gronk. Incredibly captivating and has the audience hanging on every word. Never getting distracted, always perfect with the timing, simply flawless with the oral tales.

The culmination of this one was just perfect. The greatest tight end who ever lived is giving lap dances to 35 women, aged 25-45, in just his boxer shorts and what does he make? A cool twenty five dollars, and he was thrilled about it. “I made, like… 25 bucks.” Robert, do you know how much a lap dance costs? You’re grade A beef, bubba. You were the big man on campus at Arizona. That’s worth at least a couple of hundred bucks. I’m sure Gronk couldn’t have cared less, however. I’d actually hypothesize that he was simply thrilled to find out he didn’t have to pay for the honor of grinding his ass all over some chicks. “Wait, they’re giving ME money?” Gronk thought, as he collected enough George Washingtons for a McDonald’s stop on his way home.

I guess, at the end of the day, we really owe those cheap women a debt of gratitude for hosing him. If he’d made a boatload of cash he most likely would have walked into practice the next day, quit, and started his life as a male stripper. We were so close to never having the pleasure of watching Gronk rumble down the field. That’s some butterfly effect type shit right, if Gronk got fair pay for naked dancing that night, he would have been done with football forever. Count your blessings, children.