Merriam-Webster Thinks They Can Subtweet Me? Oh, No No No. Not Today, Merriam.

Last night I got chirped pretty hard by the dictionary. Those nerds over at Merriam-Webster made fun of me for being stupid and not knowing the difference between stationary and stationery. That’s fine. If you want to make fun of people of lesser intelligence to make yourself feel better, have at it. But what I won’t stand for is being subtweeted. Not today, not tomorrow, not never. That’s bitch shit, Merriam. My high school and college girlfriends used to do that shit on the AIM away messages. You’re supposed to be a symbol of intelligence and you’re acting like a 16 year old girl who doesn’t even have the stones to @ me? I can’t let that slide.

Subtweet City, population Merriam-Webster. Coming at me like Charlies in the trees.

Well that’s not how I fight. You got something to say, let’s take it to the streets. Let’s throw hands. Let’s have a motherfucking spell off.

There’s a long history of battles between man vs. machine. We’ve had John Henry vs. the steam powered hammer, in which man was victorious momentarily until he died. Next, Dwight took on the computer, where machine even the score. Today? I’ve taken the lead again for man. You think you’re so smart, dictionary? Then why’d you just get your teeth kicked in by an idiot blogger. Hm? Riddle me that. I won 6-4 and now man has the leg-up 2-1. You’re welcome, mankind.

UPDATE: I can’t believe I fucked up click/clique at the end there. GodddddDAMMIT. I guess it’s kind of fitting, since my name is also John Henry. I won and then I died.