I'm Going To Start Handling All Twitter Beefs Like Kanye: Scorched Earth And Positive Vibes

You may have heard, but we tend to get in our fair share of Twitter wars around here. I know, may surprise some, but every once in a while things tend to… um, pop off? I guess that’s what a cool kid would say, maybe. Probably not. Whatever. Anyway, from now on, I’m taking the Kanye Road which, if you look at the map, is a sharp decline off a cliff and then right to the top of the ivory tower. That’s the way to handle things. Say you own their children, fucked their bitch, and they suck at their jobs and then delete it all and say you’re all about positive energy. If they diss your work (as Wiz did Kanye’s) just throw a fucking nuke at them then pretend nothing happened. KO Barstool, The Cauldron, Sports Illustrated, Al Jazeera fans, everybody: I’d like to apologize because I’m all about positive vibes but also fuck your kids, I own them, and your website sucks, but also peace and blessings.

PS – Everyone is clowning Kanye because Amber Rose came out and said he likes a finger in the booty during blowjobs. You can laugh, that’s fine, but know that Kanye makes everything cool. He has people camping out for sneakers and buying $400 ripped tshirts. If you don’t think he’s gonna take finger popping assholes mainstream then you are loco. Soon everyone’s gonna be trying it. I’m heading to Montreal next month and am I gonna ask for a booty finger special at the Nuru massage parlor? No comment.