Kanye Saying Wiz Wouldn't Have A Child If It Wasn't For Him Is The Meanest And Truest Thing Ever

As we all know by now, Kanye went off on Wiz today. Lost his goddamn mind in beautiful, Kanye fashion. But, while the narrative tends to become “Kanye is crazy” when he rants, let’s not forget that there is some truth to it: Kanye invented Amber Rose. He made her famous. He literally saw her in a music video, thought I’d like to fuck that video vixen, and then did (sidenote: being famous is sweet)

Next thing you know Amber Rose is recognizable because she has sex with Kanye. Went from a video girl, which was basically a TRL-days version of an Instagram chick, to red carpets at the Met Gala because she’s allows Kanye Omari West’s dick in her. Being rich and famous is like being a magician: put this in your mouth, say Abrakadabracumonmytits, and, poof, you’re a celebrity too.

But the beauty of all of this is that dating a celebrity is like Costanza having a beautiful, dead fiance. It opens a whole new world. You don’t just lose it once it’s gone. So even though they ended things, Amber Rose was still in the famous world. She was still in the Meat Packing Factory club. Therefore, she married Wiz Khalifa and had his kid. All because Kanye made her who she is. It checks out, the math is correct. Wiz Khalifa has a kid solely because of Kanye West. I don’t know how you deal with another man saying that to you. I think you gotta go throw your kid in the trash and start over.

One thing I want to know, however, is who is Ray J’s publicist and did their alarm clock not go off this morning? If Ray J tweeted at Kanye that Kanye has child because of him Twitter would have lost its collective mind. And Ray J wouldn’t have been wrong either, everything Kanye did for Amber, Ray did for Kim. Probably best to keep your mouth shut when Ye is in one of his moods, though.