Gut Reactions To The Doug Pederson Press Conference
Well that was certainly cute. Doug Pederson honestly seems like a good dude. One I would rather have as my life insurance salesman than head football coach, but a good dude nonetheless. I REPEAT – My hate does not reside with Doug Pederson. I’m rooting for the guy cause I’m first and foremost an Eagles fan. My hate completely resides with this Eagles front office filled with snakes that are essentially setting him up to fail. Here are the running gut reactions:
– Absolutely HATE personnel decisions will be a collaborative decision between Pederson, Roseman, Donahue, with a tiebreaker going Lurie. Because things always work out for the best when the billionaire with the ego inserts himself in important football decisions.
– The amount of times Jeffrey Lurie and Doug Pederson referenced “Understanding this city and fanbase” was outright infuriating, but them using that reasoning as one of, if not the most important aspect of the hiring is FUCKING NUTS. I don’t care if Michael Irvin’s left coked up nut took over as HC, if it led us to a Super Bowl it can Golden Shower us up and down Broad St. and I wouldn’t give a single damn.
– Pederson calling the plays is a disaster. This is a man who just left the 27th ranked offense in which he only called plays maybe 30-40% of the time. I highly doubt what he is going to bring to the table is going to be anything special. He is also 3 day away from calling THE WORST HOUR LONG TWO MINUTE DRILL IN NFL HISTORY. His explanation for it something like this:
– And that’s not even the worst of it. It would be one thing if Pederson was using that inspirational, good guy persona on Sundays to manage the game and players. Just concentrate on motivating the coaches and millionaires to want to die for him on the field, an aspect that’s been played up the Eagles PR machine. Nope. You think Pederson’s gonna have the time and energy during the game and practice to oversee anything else? He has very limited experience as it is with playcalling. That’s all he going to be worried about.
– Love the Schwartz hire as DC. We needed a guy on that side of the ball who can succeed without any oversight and insane in the membrane Jimmy is good for the job. His pedigree as DC in Tenn and Buffalo speaks for itself. Anything with the Wide-9 makes my soul hurt (Wonder what rural dive Jim Washburn is throwing racist tangets against the wall now), but as long as Fletcher Cox is happy, I’m happy.
– Not too sure what to make of this:
He said Jim Schwartz, too. Just a classic case of brain flatulence…I hope. Also, I think he threw out something on the lines of “Quarterbacks are unique cause they think with their minds” at some point, or maybe I imagined it because I just couldn’t fucking believe my ears.
– Jeffrey Lurie and Howie Roseman remain to be snakes. Just pure, assholes of the highest levels. OFF THE BAT Lurie stated that the coaching search was “Extensive” and “Exhaustive”…and, of course, private. With the amount of spin Lurie shot out of his mouth today I’m shocked the Earth’s rotation speed didn’t double. At least he showed his face (because he had to) unlike Roseman The Rat. Lurie, thanks to an outright GRILLING by Jeff McLane, said Howie will be held accountable. We’ll see if that actually happens, because I’ll bet my imaginary money it won’t.
And that’s all she wrote. This franchise exhausts me and I’ll be happy to not even think about them till the draft. Now excuse me while I check on my father because that legitimately may have killed him.