It's Official: Your Middle School Algebra Teacher Is The New Head Coach Of The Philadelphia Eagles

And that’s that. I guess he could also double as your life insurance salesman or that Dad who rocks New Balances for every non-work occasion, but not as your freaking city’s NFL head football Czar. The press conference is at 2 tomorrow and I can’t WAIT to see how they spin this one. The nightmare has now officially become a reality. Yeah, it was basically set in stone last week, but there was still a very slim chance of it becoming a wet dream with the Eagles backing off the deal. But whatever, man. I’ve gone on in detail about how dreadfully inexperienced this man is to be head coach so I’ll save my breath on Pederson himself. However, I will keep clamoring just how inept this entire process has been from the beginning, and to that I say FUCK YOU Jeffrey Lurie and Howie The Snake. Just off the top of my head, these are the questions I would ask these two if I had the time of day – Why did you let go of Chip Kelly when it was very, very clear there was zero plan for his replacement? If Pederson was such a hot shot commodity you wanted then A) Why didn’t any other NFL team even think to inquire about him? And B) Why did you essentially offer the job to Gase, McAdoo, and freaking Tom Coughlin first? WHY ARE YOU EVEN MAKING THIS MOVE NOW WHEN THERE ARE 4 TEAMS WITH VERY VIABLE CANDIDATES STILL PLAYING? You think this guy is gonna get swiped away in three weeks before you even have a shot to sniff at a Patricia or McDaniels?

You know what else is official as of today? Until changes are made in the front office, the Phillies are now in the clear in the book of Smitty as the worst franchise in Philly. #IHateThisTeam