New Report Says Chandler Jones Didn't Actually OD On Pills, Had A Bad Reaction To Synthetic Weed, Took Himself To The Police, And Was Lifting Weights At 6:30 Monday Morning

Who said I took pills? Was it you?

(Globe) — Patriots defensive lineman Chandler Jones had a bad reaction to a substance he put into his body on Sunday, a source familiar with the situation told the Globe. The source was adamant that Jones did not overdose on a drug such as cocaine or heroin. The source said Jones lives near the Foxborough police station, and he walked there to seek help after he had the bad reaction. The source added that Jones was at the Patriots facility lifting weights at 6:30 .am. Monday. The Patriots confirmed Jones was taken to Norwood Hospital and released on Sunday, and he has been at practice every day this week. He did not speak to the media on Wednesday.

So I’d say the story as significantly changed in the last 20 hours or so, as it seemed it would since no one could get any facts straight last night. Now that, it appears, all cards are on the table, here’s what happened: Chandler Jones smoked some synthetic weed, had a bad reaction, took himself to the cops, got some medical attention, and was in the gym then at practice the next morning. No harm, no foul, no big deal. The fact that he simply walked himself to the police and didn’t eat anyone’s face is really a testament to his restraint and professionalism. If the NFL wants to avoid situations like this in the future, might I suggest they just stop testing for weed altogether? No one cares. It’s legal or decriminalized all over the country now. Just let the players smoke normal weed so they don’t have to light up this crazy shit and have heart attacks, or is that too much of a no-brainer?

PS – Just to clarify, last night when I said “DONNNNNNT CAAAAAAARE” about it, I obviously meant that I don’t care if players do some drugs on their bye weekend. I definitely care about Jones’ well being, thought I was clear about that seeing as I explicitly stated it and all, but I guess some people didn’t feel like reading that bit.

PPS – Gotta love all the reporters still trying to tie this to Gronk.

Who cares if one quick search shows you that he was obviously in Florida that night?

Doesn’t matter. Gronk drinks vodka water and dances at bars sometimes in the offseason, he’s obviously the cause of all Patriot problems.