Does This Look Like The Face Of A Stripper Who Bit Off A WalMart Employee's Finger When They Tried To Stop Her From Stealing Condoms And Lube?
JANUARY 11–A South Carolina woman who was convicted last year of clobbering a fellow strip club employee over the head with a stiletto shoe was arrested yesterday after she bit off the finger of a Walmart employee who tried to stop her from shoplifting condoms, lubricant, and panties, police charge. According to cops, Carolynn Wright, 23, was confronted Sunday afternoon by a pair of loss prevention officers as she exited a Walmart in Myrtle Beach. The workers, police noted, approached Wright “after they observed her conceal merchandise.” Wright, pictured above, tussled with the two female Walmart staffers, punching one woman in the head, “causing bleeding around her left ear.” Wright then bit down on worker Candice Lawsom’s finger, “causing a portion of [Lawsom’s] finger to be bitten off.” When a Walmart customer dropped her phone as she sought to dial 911, Wright grabbed the phone and would not return it. During a subsequent struggle, Wright pulled the hair of the shopper, who responded by punching the suspect in the face.
That my friends is a headline that’s made for the blog world. Even a blog world that has billionaire investors. Anytime I see a story like this pop up I like to imagine seeing a headline like that in my local newspaper and it makes me chuckle. A newspaper headline of this story would read something like Woman Viciously Assaults Wal Mart Employee After Attempting To Shop Lift. When in reality, that’s not fair to the readers. A person sees a headline like that and they might be inclined to skip the story and go on to the next thing. You gotta include the good stuff. You gotta include the parts about her being a stripper trying to steal condoms and lube and being willing to Hungy Hungry Hippo any person that gets in her way. Unfortunately for the newspapers (and fortunately for guys like us) they can’t include the good stuff cause people are pussies. As far as the actual story goes, let a sister get some condoms on a lube on the house. I can’t imagine being a Walmart employee and giving a shit if people steal stuff. Have at it! I defiantly wouldn’t put myself in a position to be bit by a tripper. And at least she’s trying to practice safe sex. That’s more than can be said for most strippers. I’ve heard. What is one box of condoms and a bottle of lube gonna do to WalMart’s bottom line? Nothing. Let her live.