Sean Penn Farts During Sit Down Interview With El Chapo, Leads Authorities Right To His Arrest

Welp, cuncel da Sean Penn. Its a wrap for that guy. Eternal sheets. You snitch on El Chapo and you’re fucking dead as a doornail. To be honest I didnt read any of the actual Rolling Stone article. For two main reasons.

1) Sean Penn is an asshole. Top 5 asshole alive. Thinks he’s WAY more important than he is. If it wasnt for Mystic River I would hate everything about him.

2) When I googled the article this is what popped up:

18 pages of Sean Penn rambling on and on about himself instead of the guy people are actually interested in? For that reason, I’m out.

But here’s the main highlight you need:

Way to go Sean Penn! Farting on the most powerful druglord on the planet earth. Lucky for Sean, El Chapo seems to be a real understanding host when it comes to that. If another man farts in my home as a guest, he’s hearing about it. For girls, I’d be gracious and just pretend I didnt hear it or smell it. But for dudes? You’re getting called out. No matter what. You deserve it. If its a friend or a roommate or something, whatever. It happens. But as an official guest if you fart in my face I need to let you know you didnt get away with it.

And so not only does El Chapo grant Sean Penn this interview, bu he’s polite enough to not murder him on the spot for farting in his secret hideaway. And how does Sean Penn repay him?

By snitching on his ass. Led the cops right too him. Boy, is Sean Penn fucking dead. First thing El Chapo is gonna do when he sneaks out of prison for the 3rd time is hunt down this tree hugging Hollywood hippie and chop him into pieces. Hang his mutilated body in the streets of Juarez, Sicario style. Snitches get stiches, Sean. I hope farting on El Chapo and writing that shitty article was worth it, because you’re fucking dead.

PS – For real though, in what world does that fart story actually make the cut for this article?? Only Rolling Stone. Only them.

PPS – How pissed is El Chapo for letting his guard down like this? Guy is probably one of the most cautious, most protected men on earth and he decides to let Sean fucking Penn in to his hideout and thats his downfall.  Thats worse than Bob Durst doing the Jinx. Maybe next time you decide to do a sit down interview with a self righteous prick, at least blindfold him? Or maybe just dont talk to anyone and sit around enjoying that drug money. Much better plan.