OK Magazine –  Halle Berry seems to be have a ~fresh~ approach to the new year — as a new report claims the gorgeous actress is now dating rapper, Chris Webby!
“Halle’s having a lot of fun with Chris,” a source close to the 49-year-old tells OK! magazine. “She has a weakness for bad boys who are a little rough around the edges. He brings out her youthful side.”

Umm what planet am I on? Seriously Chris Webby is dating Halle Berry? How is that fucking possible? Now I know what you’re thinking. Hey Pres who the fuck is Chris Webby? That’s a fair question. The only reason I know him is because he was my first rap battle. I’m talking before the days of KFC writing wack beats about me I went toe to toe with Webby. To this day the Pres vs. Webby dispute will go down as one of the strangest fights I’ve ever been involved in. I still honestly don’t even really know what happened. One second I asked the dude to open for Sam Adams during Stoolapalooza and the next second his agent was asking me to Puff at the 40/40 club. Here is the blog from 2010.

Some Kid I’m Sure You’ve Never Heard Of Bashes Me In His New CD

So I got a bunch of emails about this over the weekend.    This kid Chris Webby bashing me in his new mixtape.   (It comes in at the 1:40 mark)   I got to admit I wasn’t really that surprised.    I mean this cat Chris Webby is off the charts insane.       So what did I do to him to earn the shout out?      Well last April we were looking for openers for Stoolapalooza.  Somebody posted a message on our facebook page about Chris Webby saying he was solid and I should check him out.    At that point I’d never heard of him before but I listened to his music and thought he was good.  So I emailed him asking if he wanted to open at Umass in front of 3,000 people.    What followed was one of the weirdest exchanges I’ve ever had with anybody in my life.   Literally 10 minutes after I emailed him I got a call from some dude claiming to be his manager and this is how it went;

Phone Rings

El Pres:  Hello?

Manager: Who is this?

El Pres: Huh?

Manager: Who is this?

El Pres: Who is this?  You called me.

Manager:  What’s the beef with Webby?

El Pres: What?

Manager: I’m on my way to the 40/40 club with Damon Dash.  Let’s go puff and figure this out.

El Pres:   Umm?

Manager: Who is this?

El Pres:  My name is Dave Portnoy.   I emailed Chris Webby to see if he was interested in opening us for a concert we’re doing.

Manager: I’m Chris Webby’s manager.    Let’s figure this shit out.

El Pres: Oh hey man. Yeah I thought Chris was good.   I wanted to see if he’d open for Sam Adams at Umass.   We’re going to have 3,000 people there and thought it would be a cool opportunity.

Manager:  What about the beef and what was written?

El Pres:  Well to be honest I have no idea what you’re talking about.  I’d never heard of Chris until 3 seconds ago. I just listened to his stuff and thought it was good.    I just wanted to see if he wanted to open for our concert?

Manager:   Gotta go.

Anyway after this bizzaro world conversation I actually called Sam Adam’s manager and asked if there was some sort of problem between Sam and Webby because I obviously didn’t want to book Webby if there was issues I didn’t know about.  Sam’s manager said not at all.  They respected Webby and thought it would be great to get him onboard.   Unfortunately Chris Webby never got this memo. Because Webby was still living in fantasy land ranting and raving on his facebook page about how Sam Adams and I were trying to set him up at Umass and that he wasn’t going to go onto Sam’s turf and have everybody boo him and shit.    Meanwhile Webby emails me on the side saying he loves Barstool but he has tons of bad blood with Sam.    I told him point blank that I had no idea what he was talking about.  That Sam Adams didn’t even know I asked him to open for him.   That I’d never heard of him until 4 seconds ago.   That Sam’s manager wanted him to play with us at Umass.   Webby basically said he didn’t believe me and continued to smash both Sam and I every chance he got for no reason.   The only reason I didn’t write about all this when it happened was because basically Sam’s manager said he didn’t want to sink to their level.    Like if he was too stupid to take this opportunity than fuck him.

Long story short every time somebody has brought up Chris Webby to me since then I always said the same thing.   “Kid is a certified clown”   And he is.   Therefore like I said I wasn’t surprised when I heard he bashed me and especially Sam in some song.  Kid lives in on planet Zuton and is completely and totally obsessed with Sam Adams and anybody who likes Sam Adams.    It’s actually kind of scary.   It’s like Fatal Attraction or something.    Either way congrats Webby.  You got me to blog about you.  Now you can clean the cum of your hands and watch your youtube video hits go bonkers….

PS – For anybody who disputes this story there are a whole ton of people who will verify this is pretty much exactly how it went down.    Including the people who recommended Webby to me in the first place and were stunned when he acted like a lunatic.

Double PS – Is that the first time in the history of rap somebody has warned people to stay out of Connecticut?

And now I hear Chris Webby is fucking Halle Berry? I guy whose name I hadn’t heard in years? I guess Webby got the last laugh after all? Like I don’t care if I just sold for millions of dollars. I’m still not stuffing Halle Barry who is one of my top 10 dream girls. Advantage Webby? BANANALAND.