This Map Of What Each State Googled The Most In 2015 Is As Perfect As It Gets
Every single thing about this map is just great. Almost all of the states perfectly fit each stereotype you’d give them. If aliens invaded and they wanted to know what America was like you could hand them this picture and they would immediately understand everything. Immediately. Honestly the whole thing is like a picture in Highlights that I can’t stop staring at, because every time I do I find something new and awesome.
Some of my favorites (in no particular order)…
North Carolina – “Confederate flag meaning” – I assume this one was heavy during the great Confederate flag debate of 2015. A bunch of hillbillies drawing up their “It means heritage not hate” signs then realized Wait, is that really what it means? Come to think of it I have no idea. Yeah, states rights. That’s what it’s for. Told you, you dumb negroes.
California – “Volkswagen scandal” – Can you imagine the panic that swept LA and northern Cali when the VW scandal broke? All those fucking hippies who loved bragging about how small their carbon footprint was were suddenly thinking ohhhh shit, just how many more emissions have I been putting into the air?
West Virginia – “Magic Mike XXL” – Absolutely my favorite one. A bunch of goddamn Appalachians on break from the mine, heading to their trailer to spank it to Channing Tatum’s abs.
Wisconsin – “What does bae mean?” – After “Making a Murderer” and seeing all the 2003 hairstyles that were actually from the 80s, I had an idea that Wisconsin lived in the past. But googling bae in 2015? Neanderthals used to write bae on cave walls.
Montana – “Wolves” – I don’t even understand this one but it made me laugh out loud. Wolves. So simple, so perfect. Do they not know what wolves are? Are they hoping Google has a “wolves” tracking, like they’re pedophiles? What exactly does “wolves” mean? It’s like when they asked Charlie on Always Sunny what his likes and dislikes are: ghouls and knees. Montana likes wolves.
Iowa – “The Bachelorette” – The main dude was from Iowa or something so I guess everyone was googling The Bachelorette and screaming “Guys, we got one! We got a celebrity! WE MADE IT!!!!!” for all of 2015.
Utah - “Transgender” – Mormons understand that like 15 years ago god gave Joesph Smith some gold plates that said you can have a million wives, they do not understand someone feeling like they were born the wrong sex.
The South - Don’t touch my guns, what kind of terrorist is that Muslim, Donald Trump for president. That’s it. That’s the whole region, with a little “I’d like to fuck someone other than my wife” and “Is the whip a gang sign?” sprinkled in.