Late Night Letter

Something I got. Just thought I’d share.

Daddy D,

Where is Big Cat? How much money does Pres make? How crazy were the girls on the Dixie tour?!

I am writing you because I have questions. However, those weren’t them. No, the questions I’m writing you about are in regards to your future at Barstool. I think the Dixie tour seemed to go pretty well… I mean with the unlimited resources at your disposal I did think it was a little weird that you only made one 4-minute party video per week, but I’m sure there was a valid reason why we didn’t get more out of that incredibly huge investment by Dave and Draft Kings. It was probably Hank, wasn’t it? Nevertheless, I think I can speak for everyone here when I say we liked the tour pretty good—at least we liked it enough that you should’ve informed us of your future plans before going completely AWOL the second you hopped off the bus. Listen, I know Barstool isn’t perfect. I understand that a one year commitment to a job here could also be a lifelong commitment to no jobs anywhere else—but I really think you should just give it a go and see what happens. That’s how real magic is made, right? I’m not saying I know exactly what you would do… maybe live in that bus for the rest of your life with those three other dudes and just keep drinking until your eyes turn yellow? Or maybe you could keep making videos of semi-nude girls at the bar until you’ve completely washed away all hope for finding your shot at long term happiness with anyone halfway wholesome? Or maybe you should just be around… Not completely in my face about it, but whenever I’m teetering on the brink of having to confront reality you could just pop up and do something to launch me back into my disillusion of what’s really important in the world? I don’t know man… I’m just saying give it some thought.

Seriously though, where is Big Cat? This guy is like Carmen Sandiego. If you locate his whereabouts please do share—along with all numbers related to Dave’s financial status. Also, last thing… is he like that all the time or is it just an act?

Respectfully,

Barstool Eddie