A Guy Stabbed His Roommate In The Back With A Cheese Knife After An Argument Over Dirty Dishes

DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) Police say they’ve arrested a Des Moines man on suspicion of stabbing his roommate after an argument about dirty dishes. The Des Moines Register reports that officers were called to the East Grand Avenue apartment around 6:30 p.m. Wednesday. They found a 48-year-old man standing in the kitchen with a stab wound to his lower back. He was treated at a hospital for the non-life-threatening injury. Officers arrested the man’s 55-year-old roommate, who was found in another room with what looked like a bloody blade next to him. He said it was cheese knife he had been using when his roommate pushed him. The man told police he used the cheese knife in self-defense. Police say the two had fought over dirty dishes before the stabbing.

If you’ve never come close to stabbing your roommate/being stabbed by your roommate over dirty dishes then either you’ve always lived alone or you had the one cool roommate on the entire planet who was down with doing the dishes all the time.  The rest of us?  The rest of us have absolutely been in this situation on one side or the other. Maybe we all haven’t stabbed somebody over dirty dishes but we have definitely thought about it. To be honest, I’m hate cleaning dishes and refuse to do it in a timely manner.  It’s actually a miracle that I’ve never been stabbed by a roommate. I just don’t give a shit and I’m lazy. My past roommates should get a medal for not slitting my throat while I slept. I’ll mow the lawn, I’ll take out the trash, sweep the floor, whatever. But I will also let a bowl of pasta and sauce sit in the sink until it turns to stone.  By the way, the article says one roommate is 48 years old and the other is 55 years old.  That might be another reason the stabbing happened. If I’m ever in my late-40s or 50s and I still have a roommate that isn’t my wife/longtime girlfriend I’m gonna get a little stab-happy too.  Unless these guys are gay in which case their arrangement makes complete sense and there’s nothing wrong with that.