It Would Be Great If The People Of Switzerland Could Stop Banging Their Horses

NYPost – More Swiss people are having sex with horses, according to a sickening new report.

There were 105 cases of the maltreatment of horses in Switzerland in 2014 — 10 percent of which involved people having sex with them, according to Tier im Recht, an animal welfare group.

“This rate is relatively elevated compared with other types of animals,” Andreas Rüttimann, a legal expert with the group, told reporters, The Local reported. There are an estimated 110,000 horses living on 18,000 Swiss farms. Experts estimate that 10,000 people in Switzerland are “predisposed” to zoophilia, according to the 20 Minuten newspaper.

Listen, I’m not gonna get up on my high horse here (pun 100000% intended) and say who/what people can and cannot fuck. Different strokes for different folks. I get that some people are just into some really weird shit and I don’t think it’s my place to look down upon anyone for what gets their motor going. But with that being said, I just never really took the Swiss to be a people that partake in horse fucking. I really didn’t.

All my life I’ve been admiring the Swiss for some reason. Swiss Army Knives are sweet, Swiss bank accounts are sweeter, the Swiss bobsled team in Cool Runnings was the GOAT. I mean in my 23 years of living, the only knock I ever had on Switzerland is that Swiss cheese is kinda gross. But now I don’t really know what to think about the Swiss. Now I just pray that Handsome Hank and Weird Haircut Seth never have to run a race in Switzerland. It just doesn’t make sense. Scandinavian nations already produce top smoke talent. And when you’ve got chicks like Michelle Hunziker at your disposal, I just don’t see how horse fucking becomes a thing.

And this is obligatory. Maybe my favorite GIF on the interwebs.