Any Ladies Out There Ever Thought, "I Sure Wish I Could Turn My Phone Into A Vibrator"? Now You Can!
Mashable- Activate Siri responsibly. IZIVIBE claims to be the world’s first sex toy that uses a smartphone’s vibration feature to pleasure users. All you need is the phone case and the app. IZIVIBE product manager Remy Waddle tells Mashable that the inspiration behind the phone case was “to imagine an original product, not vulgar, [that is] simple and effective.” The IZIVIBE case features a long 100% medical-grade silicone handle, which acts as a vibrator when activated by your phone’s vibrations. These vibrations can be controlled by the IZIVIBE app, which features seven different intensities for hands-free play. Or, if you’d rather, you can use the phone case as a dildo — with or without vibrations. The app also allows other people to control your IZIVIBE remotely, a feature created for long distance couples to stay connected. In addition to its smooth exterior, the phone case is hypoallergenic and phthalate-free to ensure it’s safer for your body.
Serious question: at what point do women stop having sex with men entirely? At what point do they just swear us off completely and switch 100% over to sex toys? It has to be soon. We are no longer necessary. They don’t even totally need us for sperm anymore. They can just have us ejaculate into a cup and have it injected into them whenever it’s most convenient for them (I did less than zero research on that so take it with a block of salt). Women for sure don’t need us for sexual pleasure at this point. They’ve got more toys at their disposal than Duncan’s Toy Chest. Every time I turn around another toy pops up that’ll spin them around and make them cum like a volcano. I can’t compete wit that. And why would women want to keep having sex with us? We are terrible at it for the most part and it’s a laborious task. Here the options currently out thee for women
Option 1: Sex with a real human male. We sweat and breath all over you like an uncaged animal. We make weird noises. We are very mediocre at the activity. Our bodies are gross and disgusting. Dicks are weird. You’ll cum if you’re lucky. If you’re unlucky you’re pregnant.
Option 2: Sex with any number of sex toys. No man sweat or heavy breath that smells like salted meats and Busch Light all over you. No weird noises except the hum of the toy. No disgusting body bearing down on you. You’ll cum 15,000 times in 20 minutes. No pregnancy.
It’s a no-brainer for ladies. Option 2 makes almost too much sense. And this cell-phone-turned-vibrator is yet another step in that direction. Orgasms on the go. I’m telling you, men and our dicks will be obsolete in the next 10-15 years. Book it.