The Sacramento Kings Baby Race Was A Lot More Exciting Than It Ever Should Have Been

Well at least the competition was closer than any Sixers game this year, that’s for damn sure. Oh the things attention-seeking parents will put their kids through for a $25 gift card to Chili’s. Guaranteed each one of these Mother’s Facebook profile pics will be updated after traumatizing their toddlers in that jungle environment. And if I were there I’d give a hefty Walter Sobchak OVER THE LINE to the desperate housewife who reached for her baby. This entire sham needs to be under investigation for that alone. Gotta run through the tape. Not to mention Baby #1 in the lead can never show her face around those parts again after that choke job. If she were a horse she’d be shot on sight.

The pressure got to the baby in Waldo wear at :39. Pulled a LeBron and then some. Shocked he didn’t have the cameras catch them carrying him off the court with fake cramps.