The Good, The Bad, The Ugly, And The Aborted From The Eagles Disaster At Home Vs. The Dolphins

Diddy essentially sums it all up. It, again, all falls on Chip. Here’s what we got.

The Good:

The Defense – Yet AGAIN, this unit played well enough to win. Other than a 87-yard drive capped off by a freak tipped TD, the Dolphins were pretty much held in check. The only other TD scored by Miami was on a short field after a blocked punt. If anything you can fault Billy Davis for taking his foot off the gas a bit, but I’m not blaming the defense one bit for this loss. Shit, they even spotted the offense two points with a safety. Malcolm Jenkins still can’t catch the ball, but for the most part they’ll keep this squad in every single game.

Sam Bradford - 19/25 for 236 and a TD is extremely damn efficient if you ask me, or anyone outside of the blind haters who can’t objectively spawn their own thoughts without pissing themselves. Those numbers don’t take into account the 4 times he got sacked and how he got whamsauced every damn time he dropped back. If Bradford doesn’t go down they win this game. Simple as that. This better be his fucking team when he gets back.

The Bad:

Dirty Sanchez – Well he sure as shit doesn’t deserve to be in the good category. He’s getting WAY too much blame for this L (more on that below), but still, he’s gotta play better. Those first team reps are gonna go a long way this week.

The Ugly:

THIS ENTIRE OFFENSIVE LINE IS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME –

For real. I don’t know how they can look so good against Madman Hardy and the Dallas DL then do less than dick against the wretched, overpaid, and lazy defense of the Dolphins. Miami came into the game with the worst rush defense in the universe and there was virtually zero push. They have even worse of a pass rush and Sam Bradford was getting his clock cleaned before ultimately shattering. Even up until the very last play of the game the OL had no answer for the Miami D. And I’m getting pretty sick and tired of these quotes from Jason Kelce and co. after every Goddamn loss:

“If you want a quote, here it is: That was the worst game of my entire career,” Kelce said. “Three penalties. (Bleeping) bad snap. (Bleeping) just a terrible blocking performance. I got to get it corrected. But other than that, that’s about all I have to say.”

I appreciate the honesty and heart, but for the love of fuck, FIX IT.

PENALTIES – 7 for 54, as well as numerous offsetting flags that were stupid is as stupid does. And that’s two games now where Zach Ertz go-ahead TD’s have been called back due to fixable and unacceptable penalties. Two.

Special Teams – Blocked punt. Missed chip shot FG. It’s the little things in life, and these aren’t even little. They’re fucking HUGE and cost games. This is cute, too:

Boom -

The old six yard pattern on fourth and ten isn't going to get it done for Philly. Dolphins will win.

— Armando Salguero (@ArmandoSalguero) November 15, 2015

Seriously. The last 4 plays of the day were textbook, butt clenching, chokage. Somebody step up and make a damn play, please. Also, Chip said Ertz was wide open on the left and Cooper was free on the right on 4th down. Cute.

This:

THESE WR’S ARE BAD AND THEY SHOULD FEEL BAD:

The Eagles receivers were targeted 17 times for only 9 catches and 98 yards. That’s after the Dolphins best CB and Bloomsburg’s finest Brent Grimes was declared out with the case of the runs. That’s the third straight game Rilely Cooper was held without a catch while getting a majority of the snaps. Yesterday he was targeted a total of…carry the 2…ZERO times. Oh but he did cost the team a go ahead TD by not getting set up on time. THAT WAS THE CUTEST.

The Aborted:

Miles. Fucking. Austin.

New super fun happy category this week because it’s well deserved. Monmouth needs to clean out his locker, stop by every Philly home he passes by to beg forgiveness for a 9 games of drops, conniptions, and overall being a talking pile of pig shit. And before we let him leave, he must cross over Lincoln Financial Field, present himself, bend over, and kiss his own arse. It’s almost poetic seeing one man be so responsible for so many God awful plays in one game, and STILL be rewarded with countless chances to redeem himself. Austin was targeted 4 times, and all 4 times he was guilty of an egregious error. The first was a deep ball in which he had a chance to make a huge third down catch. A snag that would rank as maybe a 6 in difficulty in the NFL level. He failed to put himself in position to block the defender out and the ball went through his hands.

Austin then preceded to make a great, go ahead TD reception on a beautiful pass by Sanchez, but NOPE. He forgot to channel his inner instinct of a fucking middle school football player and drag his second foot to ensure he’s in bounds. Blatantly unacceptable for an NFL veteran WR of his calibar..

Target #3 – The Pick. I know people want to blame Sanchez for the RZ interception. I do, too. And with evidence like this it’s difficult not to burn him at the stake:

HOWEVER, an average receiver with an awareness rating of 15 on Madden has his head turned expecting the ball once inside the window. If Austin comes close to being anything worthy he is at least looking at Sanchez and has an opportunity to make the play. What the hell is he doing? He gave up on the pattern without even looking at the QB. It’s not Sanchez’s fault his receivers are so scared to fail they’re playing like fucking cowards.

Then there was him wide open on the final drive but not having the awareness of a 4-year-old to turn around for the ball. Why did he continue to get chances? I don’t know, man. I don’t know:

And that all comes down to…

Chip Kelly – 16-3 was fun while it lasted. The fact Chip Kelly the coach, GM, and warm blooded male allowed this game to slip under his deflating nuts is embarrassing. The worst part, by far, was Mark Sanchez – A veteran QB who knows all the plays in the system like the back of his hand – looked beyond out of sync with his teammates. The miscommunication on routes and the feeling of an awkward change in the offense was palpable. Shit, he couldn’t even hand the ball off to Murray without it looking fucked up. Which means one thing, MARK SANCHEZ DID NOT RECEIVE NEARLY ENOUGH PRACTICE TIME TO GIVE HIM THE CHANCE TO EXECUTE WITH HIS PLAYERS. That solely falls on Chip. I know he’s the backup QB and is relegated to his role behind Bradford with the 2nd team, but holy hell. When your offense relies so much on feeling, finesse, and fucking culture over actually being talented, everyone needs to be on the same page. Sanchez playing catch up with his players was Chip’s fault. FIX IT.

That’s all. By the grace of God if the Eagles beat Tampa Bay this week they will most likely be in first place. They still control their own destiny. Now let’s get the wheels in motion and do the damn thing.