Live EventThe Unnamed Show With Dave Portnoy, Kirk Minihane, Ryan Whitney - Episode 35Watch Now

Teenagers Rejoice!: Scientist Proves It's Possible To Get Drunk On Over-The-Counter Homeopathic Constipation Medicine

 

 

Kids have it soooooooo easy these days.  Back in my pre-legal drinking age days getting booze was nearly impossible.  It’s fucked up (also awesome) that buying illegal drugs was a billion times easier to get than booze. You either had to know somebody with a fake ID (and who actually had the stones to use it) or know somebody who had an older sibling who was over 21. The latter worked the best but most of the time the brother or sister was already out and about doing their own drinking.  Most weekend nights in high school were spent working the phones and driving around town hoping to score alcohol.  And if by some miracle you got some, it wasn’t until after midnight. So you’d drink 10 shots of Bacardi Limon in 30 minutes and puke your guts out. The good ol days. Now?  All kids have to do is buy legal over-the-counter constipation medicine to get drunk. Lucky bastards.

 

PS- I’m kinda into that chick in the video. I’m down with just about any chick who says, “Hey you wanna get weird on some over-the-counter homeopathic constipation medicine?” Sure!  Why not!  You know you’re in for a wild night when that’s how it starts.