Barstool’s Glorified Guide to the Capital One Cup – Upsets Galore 2.0?

Sam's Army10/28/2015 7:06 PM

Sam’s Glorified Guide to the Capital One Cup – Upsets Galore 2.0?

Hi haters,

Remember that time when I titled yesterday’s blog the “Longshot Tuesday Edition” and then Stoke beat Chelsea, Hull beat Lester and Sheffield fucking Wednesday mopped the floor with Arsenal? That was fun. (Too bad Stoke and Hull were in ET/PKs so you didn’t get credit for it if you made a straight bet… soccer betting, man – it’s the worst.)

Anyway, got another day of moderately entertaining soccer on tap this afternoon so what kind of soccer blogger would I be if I didn’t offer up a little preview with a few predictions sprinkled in… but first, how about another little Q&A sessions with you beautiful commenters, you.

Brendan, my man, thanks for your feedback. Some days in which life gets in the way and posts aren’t up as early as I’d like, so your general point is a fair one, but be honest: did you feel a little sheepish about saying that when you realized yesterday’s games didn’t kickoff for another hour (3:45pm ET)?

Lookit Nostradamus over here predicting an upset… after the underdog had already gone up 2-0

I’m not backtracking off anything. Lester has started hot but you don’t avoid relegation by being in the top half in October. Unfortunately it’s a long season ahead and injuries (January transfers) could be tough to overcome for a club with less money than most racehorse owners.

Oh man, you must have sex with so many chicks with that hog!

I’m glad we had this talk. Now on to the soccer…

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CAPITAL ONE CUP

Warning: this is the Milk-cum-Littlewoods-cum-Rumbelows-cum-CocaCola-cum-Worthington’s-cum-Molson Coors-cum-Capital One Cup, not Champions League, so if you are expecting the best of the best then you should look elsewhere. The games, especially prior to reaching at least the quarterfinals (and often semifinals), are used by many managers to give a run out to benchwarmers and youngsters while regulars are given some rest. Point being, expect some strange starting line-ups and even stranger results… meaning gambling on these puppies is an endeavor best attempted by TRUE DEGENS ONLY.

You’ve been warned.

See, what’d I say about strange results? Doesn’t get any stranger than Arsenal – one week removed from beating arguably the best club in the world in Bayern Munich – losing decisively to Sheffield Wednesday. Yes, it was a weakened side for the Gunners, but regardless that is just not a good look at all. And not to pile pain on top of misery but the losses of Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and (especially) Theo Walcott will undoubtedly prove far more important than the loss of the game.

As for the other games, credit to a plucky Chelsea side that everybody (except the bookies) knew was overmatched from the start as the Blues fought with every fiber of their soul and managed to sneak an injury time equalizer… but in the end it wasn’t enough, thus proving once and for all that it does indeed suck to suck.

Now for today…

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PICKS OF THE DAY

United (-215)
Middlesbrough (+650)
Draw (+350)

Middlesbrough probably should be playing in the EPL at the moment but offered up an unexpectedly poor performance when it really (REALLY) counted against Norwich in the promotion playoff last spring, but credit to them they are back after it again this campaign and now sit in 4th place. Remember when I said expect strange line-ups and stranger results in the League Cup? Well, it’s true, but probably not in this one. Boro is missing a couple starters and LVG has some serious firepower waiting on the bench in Memphis (note: Wayne Rooney starting up top with Anthony Martial on the wing and Memphis on the bench is just silly… LVG’s “genius” at work) and Andreas Perreira. If this game weren’t at Old Trafford I might give the lower level side a shot, but just don’t see it today. United to win 3-1.

Meep meep!

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Other games: Liverpool (-190) have managed three straight draws since Jergun “The Messiah” Klopp showed up but a weakened Bournemouth (+550) side will be a nice little slumpbuster. Liverpool to win 2-0. The other two games are likely going to involve plenty of “experimentation” and “rotation” with the squads so they are likely to be even bigger wild cards, but I’ll take a random shot in the dark and suggest that both home favorites (City and Southampton) will end up pulling out wins.

After all, nothing like following up a day full of upsets