Boston.com Love Letters - She did not accept my proposal with great enthusiasm
The Question
I just recently got engaged. My fiancée did not accept my proposal with great enthusiasm. She has only told immediate family of the engagement. She has not told any of her male “friends.” When I am away, I have noticed she talks to these other male “friends” more often. I have confronted her about it and she says they are just friends and that she loves me and she doesn’t want anyone else. So I am very confused.
Should I call off the engagement and move on with my life, or should I stay and see if she really does love me? Also, what should I think about her male friends? Should I be concerned?
– Engaged
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Meredith Hoss Goldstein’s Answer
There’s a lot missing from this letter. You didn’t tell us how she knows these “friends” and how often she sees them. You didn’t tell us whether you know these men, or if she keeps you out of the loop when it comes to the rest of her personal life. Instead of focusing on gender, think about what she gets from these people and how they fit into her world. If the only disturbing thing about them is that they’re male, let it go. People are allowed to have friends.
What concerns me more about your letter is the engagement. Her tepid reaction doesn’t have to mean much (not everyone swoons over a proposal), but your reaction to that tepidness makes it clear you’re not confident about this relationship. Stop thinking about how she said yes, and talk to her about how she sees your life together.
Readers? Should he be marrying her if he has issues with these “friends” and her reaction to his proposal?
– Meredith
Meredith “Hoss” Goldstein is a troll right? She has to be. There is just no way somebody can consistently give this hideous of advice for this long and still have a column. Per usual here is the real answer.
El Pres Answer
Dear Engaged,
Let me state this clearly and for the record. You fiancée is disgusted by you. I’m disgusted by you. You’re a spineless jellyfish and she knows it and I know it and you know it. She’s obviously fucking her guy friends. Because despite what Hoss Goldstein says there is no such thing as platonic friends. The only reason a guy is friends with a chick is to fuck her. That’s it. So that’s why when you go away she talks to dudes more because she’s fucking them more. It’s not rocket science.
But honestly I didn’t even need to hear this sob story about her guy friends blah, blah, blah. I knew your fiancée hated you the second you said she did not accept your proposal with great enthusiasm. Boom, case closed. It’s a known fact every chick dreams about the day she gets proposed to. It may be bigger than her actual wedding day. You don’t even have to do some grand proposal either. Chicks will cry and freak and turn to mush no matter what you do. Unless of course they hate you and don’t want to get married and think they can do better and don’t want to be stuck with your limp dick the rest of their lives which is exactly what your girlfriend thinks of you. But on the flip side you’re such a pussy I doubt you could do any better so you might as well just hold on for as long as you can and live with your head stuck in the sand.