Subway Continues It's Banner Year As A Guy Finds A Dead Mouse In His Sandwich
LINCOLN CITY, Ore. – People who got spinach on their sandwich or salad at a Subway restaurant in Lincoln City earlier this month may have unknowingly eaten food tainted by a dead rodent. But the state health department said it didn’t put anyone in danger of getting sick. “They [health inspectors] consulted with physicians and we followed their advice that, although it is not very appetizing, the risk of someone becoming sick due to eating lettuce with those particular circumstances were very low,” explained Cheryl Connell, Dir. Of Lincoln County Health and Human Services. Matt Jones saw the dead animal in his friend Jay’s sandwich and snapped a photo. “It’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen, but it’s also the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen,” Jones said, recalling his initial reaction. “I laughed because I was like, there is no way this just happened.”
Oh how the mighty have fallen. Nobody is on the roll like Subway right now. Nobody. This is the second Subway story TODAY. The first was the crazy naked lady destroying a Subway in Alaska. Oh and in case you forgot their famous spokesperson Jared got popped on child pornography charges a few months back. You might’ve heard about it in the news. Now they’re serving up fresh mice to customers in their sandwiches. Hell of a year for Subway. You know what they always say though, it’s always darkest before the dawn. My guess is Subway bounces back in huge way in 2016 and takes the world by storm again. Nah just kidding. They have shitty sandwiches and a former spokesperson who was into kiddy porn. Unless this mouse thing was them trying to throw people off the scent of the Jared debacle. My guess is it won’t work and if we’ve learned anything over the last 12 months it’s that they’re just not that savvy.
PS- Does this kid who found the mouse not understand how lawsuits work?
“It’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen, but it’s also the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen,” Jones said, recalling his initial reaction. “I laughed because I was like, there is no way this just happened.”
No no no. That’s not how you react. You scream and cry and have a nervous breakdown. Say that the ordeal you experienced that day will have you seeing a psychiatrist for years to come. That’s how you do it. You gotta squeeze as much money outta these corporations as possible. You don’t say, “Look there’s a mouse in that sandwich. LOL. What a great day.” Idiot.