This Guy Survived A Grizzly Bear Attack By Playing Dead, Wait No, He Did It By Shoving His Arm Down The Bear's Throat

WHIO- A Montana man claims he used advice his grandmother once told him and it saved his life when he was mauled by a grizzly. Chase Dellwo has bruises, hundreds of stitches, a puncture wound and a swollen eye, but he managed to fight off a grizzly without killing it Saturday in northern Montana.  Dellwo was hunting with his brother outside of Choteau, Montana in poor weather when the two apparently woke up a bear. Only armed with a bow and arrow, Dellwo prepared to shoot the bear, but was knocked to the ground. The bear bit the man in the top and back of the head. After a brief pause, the bear bit his leg and shook Dellwoo before tossing him a distance. “He came back and bit my lower right leg and gave it a pretty good shake and threw me a ways,” Dellwo told The Great Falls Tribune. The bear attacked for a third time and Dellwo told the Great Falls Tribune that he recalled an article his Grandmother gave a long time ago:  “I remembered an article that my grandmother gave me a long time ago that said large animals have bad gag reflexes. So I shoved my right arm down his throat.” According to Dellwo, the advice worked and the bear left the area. Though severely injured, Dellwo found his brother and drove to a nearby medical facility.

Not sure why this guy isn’t being hailed a hero all over the country. Why aren’t we carrying him around on our shoulders?  Carrying him all the way to Washington DC so he can meet the president and receive the highest of high honors? I don’t get it.  Brass. Fucking. Balls on this guy. How do you survive a bear attack?  Play dead. That’s what you’re always told. Just play dead. I never understood it because won’t the bear just want to eat you then? Playing dead seems a lot like you’re turning yourself into easy food. Well now there’s a new way to survive a bear attack thanks to this guy’s grandma*: Shove your arms down the bear’s throat so it gags and runs away. Boom. Done and done. The reason it works is because the bear doesn’t see it coming. He’s thinking, “Watch this. This moron is gonna play dead. They all do it. They think it works……wait a second. Why is he running towards me? WAIT WHAT WHAT IS HAPPEN *arm gets rammed down his throat* and the bear runs away like a little bitch. The simple act of doing something so outrageous freaks them the fuck out and they bail. It’s like punching a guy on your first day in prison. Set the tone.  Don’t let the tone set you.

*This guy’s grandma seems to know a lot about animals and their gag reflexes. Not saying, just saying.