Love Jessica Simpson Showing Up On HSN Hammered Drunk

I’m a little hesitant to throw Jess under the bus here because people always think I’m drunk when I talk too. I’m not drunk, I just suck at talking. I talk loud and fast and it sounds like someone is pinching my nose and all my words blend together. It made coming home late in high school a bear. However, homegirl was wasted here, and I respect the fuck out of that. The only reason to not be hammered 24/7 is because you have to make money. That’s it. Well, Jess doesn’t need money. She’s done enough in this world. She’s given us With You, Irresistible, and the daisy dukes. She’s earned the right to be her drunk, redneck headass (see? Doesn’t work as a white) whenever she wants. Plus, is there any doubt this just helps her sell clothes on HSN? No one watches this shit except drunk housewives. They see her and think “OMG she’s just like me. I gotta support her.”