What Does One Do With His Money After Winning $12,000?

First things first, thank you to DraftKings Sportsbook and the Barstool Game of the Week for blessing me with the chance to win a $10K bonus bet. Truly an unreal opportunity, and I’m incredibly grateful I even got to be part of it. I’d also like to thank myself for not listening to the hundreds of people telling me how bad, stupid, or flat out idiotic my pick was, apparently placing a bet on Thursday for a game on Sunday is a crime now. I’m glad I trusted my gut and my research, because it ended with me cashing a $12,000 bet barely two minutes into the second quarter.

Now the real question is: what do I do with this money? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t already looking at flights to Milan. Part of me wants to pick a lucky lady and recreate the iconic Anakin Skywalker and Padmé first kiss moment on Lake Como…but realistically, I should save that for someone actually worthy of being my Padmé.

My next intrusive thought was, “Fuck it, let’s go out, grab some bottles and some extracurriculars, and let the boys eat.” But then I remembered, it’s time to grow up. I’d be a certified clown to blow this money on drugs, alcohol, and women the same way I’ve been doing for the last decade.

So instead, I did what would make momma proud. I pulled the money straight out of my DK account (left $1,000 in there for fun, because I love betting props), texted my financial advisor, and dropped a clean 10K into my brokerage account. Because I know me, no one knows me better than me, and if that money sat in my checking or savings, it would be gone by Valentine’s Day.

At the end of the day, I’m just happy I can buy my mom and sister a nice Thanksgiving meal and some extra special Christmas gifts without stressing or pulling my hair out. So once again, thank you DraftKings and Barstool Game of the Week.