One Is the Loneliest Number That You'll Ever Do...
Just after we moved into our house in January of 1987, Susan called her sister to say she wanted to take Thanksgiving. It had always been her favorite holiday…
Up to that point, Susan's sister had done all the holidays at her house in Stoughton, and she was more than willing to let Susan take Thanksgiving off her hands. Of course, Susan wanted to invite the entire family, so we had to use two tables: our dining room table and another one we set up in the kitchen. There were 14 people at the first Thanksgiving, and the additional table we set up in the kitchen became an obstacle Susan had to maneuver around while cooking and serving.
After that first Thanksgiving, we immediately started looking for a new dining room table. The one we had only seated six, and we needed one with leaves so it could expand to accommodate more people, and keep the path to the oven clear.
Of course, Susan took a photo of the turkey in the oven that first year
We searched every local furniture store, but the oak dining room sets we liked were out of our price range, and some tables only came with one leaf. We decided to go into a small furniture store in Norton that we hadn't gone to yet.
They didn't have a big fancy showroom or an Oak dining room set, but they did have one made of Ash. According to the store owner, Ash is a hardwood that's more affordable than Oak and, when stained, has grain that looks very similar to Oak. The dining room set looked like all the others we had seen. The chairs had spindles, and the table had a thick, sturdy base.
Then the store owner said, "The nicest thing about this particular table is it comes with not one, not two, but three leaves. Two store under the table, and the third one you'll have to keep somewhere else."
He proceeded to pull the table apart and put the three leaves in. The mechanism was impressive, and you could easily add some folding chairs and seat twelve, and if you put two chairs at the ends, fourteen. Susan's eyes lit up…
The store owner told us the price, and although it was cheaper than the oak ones we looked at, we still couldn't afford it. The house we bought was a fixer-upper, and I had just opened my plumbing business. Money was tight. But I knew how much having a new table, one that everyone could sit at during Thanksgiving, meant to her. So I whispered, "It'll hurt a little at the beginning, paying it off, but once we have Thanksgiving on it, we'll realize it was the right decision."
Susan was still reluctant to splurge on a dining room set. Unlike me, she was all about sticking to a budget. We purchased the Formica table at Building 19 for short money, and for small gatherings it was perfect, but not for Thanksgiving.
While the store owner patiently waited for our decision, I looked at Susan and said, "Let's just fuckin' buy it!" She smiled and agreed to splurge this one time.
I wanted the one off the showroom floor, but the store owner couldn't part with it. We had to order one, and it took what seemed like forever to build and ship. In the meantime, we decided to buy protective pads for the top, including three small ones for the extra leaves. The pads had to be ordered and custom-made, and that wasn't cheap either. But we rationalized that we needed the pads to protect our investment so we'd have a good-looking table for many years to come.
The first Thanksgiving with the new table was incredible, and so was each one thereafter.
At one point, Susan's sister asked her if it was okay if their friend Otto joined us for Thanksgiving. He was from North Dakota, worked with my brother-in-law, and had no place to go on Thanksgiving. Susan asked me, and at first I wasn't sure about inviting a stranger to our house, but then Susan explained it was the right thing to do. "Inviting a person who has no place to go on Thanksgiving to celebrate with us at our house and giving him a seat at our table is the kindest gesture anyone could make. And isn't that what Thanksgiving's all about?"
Susan could be very persuasive when she wanted, and once she put it that way, I was all in. Otto came to our house for the next 12 years and became a cherished member of our family. We were devastated when we got word that he had died suddenly, standing in line at a coffee shop one morning on his way to work. By then, we had three kids, and we all went to his funeral. The first Thanksgiving without him was difficult. Otto went from being a total stranger to an incredible presence at our table on Thanksgiving. His big laugh was contagious, and he shopped at FAO Schwarz for Christmas gifts for our kids. At one point, I had to ask him to slow down a bit; he was making me look bad. We all missed him. Otto brought a lot to our table…
For years, we had Thanksgiving at our house, at that table. As the family grew, we set up a second table for our young niece and great-nieces. Even after Susan was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer and was receiving Chemotherapy, she always made sure she had enough time between treatments and Thanksgiving to recover so she could continue the tradition, which meant so much to her. By then, I was helping her with the setup and cleanup. Despite battling cancer, Susan always went above and beyond for her family on Thanksgiving.
When she was healthy, she would tell me to take the kids to Papa Ginos and then to a movie the night before, so she could have the house to herself to do a deep clean and start setting up. In the morning, the boys and I went to the Coyle and Cassidy High School football game in Taunton while Susan was busy cooking. By the time we'd get home from the game, people had already started arriving, and the house smelled incredible.
Last year, with Susan's help, we had a small Thanksgiving at our table. I did the cooking. It was just a few people, and although it wasn't the same as when Susan was healthy and prepared the dinner for the entire family, it was good. We didn't know then that it would be our last Thanksgiving together.
The last three years have been very stressful, and unfortunately, there's some family tension that resulted. I'm hoping we can get past it before it's too late. It's what Susan would want.
Although I received several invites, I've decided to stay home and enjoy Thanksgiving dinner at the table Susan and I took delivery of 38 years ago. Other than the chair I'll be sitting in, the others will be empty.
Here's the table with the three leaves installed. Still just as beautiful 38 years later!
I ordered Thanksgiving dinner, complete with dessert, from my regular heat 'n' eat company that has been delivering three-minute microwave meals to my doorstep since Susan passed. I made sure I got enough to have leftovers. I'll watch football, eat some turkey and stuffing, have dessert, and then reflect, which won't be easy…
Enjoy your Thanksgiving Day with family and friends, and if you can, invite a person who has no place to go to sit at your table. Trust me, you won't regret it…
It's just no good anymore since you went away
Now I spend my time just making rhymes of yesterday
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do…