This Miami Dirt Bike Guy Just Put Forth The Single Worst "Running From Cops" Performance I've Ever Seen

I would say "poor guy"... all he had to do was get his bike up on two wheels and he was home free. When you're on a small bike in a crowded city, losing the cops shouldn't be THAT hard. With all the traffic that's on the road, with all the little alleyways to cut through... I've never tried it, so maybe I'm way off on this, but I would think it shouldn't be especially difficult to shake a cop car in that situation. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that guy's dirt bike wasn't registered to his name. I sure don't see any license plates that are gonna help the cops trace that bike back to anyone. All he's gotta do is make it to a line of cars at a red light he's in the clear. 

However... considering this man has the motorbike riding skills of a baby deer... considering he could not possibly be less cool under pressure... had he actually got that bike up and running, there's about a 90% chance his ride ends up something like this.

I wrote a blog about that exploding dirt bike just last week. Dirt bike disaster videos are hot in the streets (i.e. I've seen 2 of them). But bad things happen in threes. So if you're a dirt bike guy, maybe keep that thing in the garage for the next month or two. At least until we get that next viral video of a man on a Yamaha ramping a curb and landing inside a pre-school. 

But back to the initial video. That escape attempt was so hilariously pathetic, I'm not even sure the cops can in good conscience charge him with resisting arrest. That would be my argument in court if I were his public defender. "Your honor. You saw the video. My client is physically incapable of resisting arrest. You wouldn't charge a quadriplegic for resisting arrest, would you? Because a quadriplegic is incapable of moving. My client is so phenomenally... so embarrassingly uncoordinated, you must treat him the same way you would treat a person who's been rendered vegetable."

Or something along those lines. It's worth a shot. Stay safe out there dirt bikers.