In Something That Is Definitely NOT Made Up, Paul Skenes Is Reportedly Telling Pirates Teammates He Wants To Play For The Yankees

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Welcome to the November edition of the baseball offseason. What's that entail? Rather pointless GM meetings in Vegas, qualifying offer decisions, and some fan-fiction rumors that you have to do your best to not believe. For this instance we're going to entertain the third option.

The "big story" here is that Paul Skenes allegedly told his Pirates teammates that he wants to play for the Yankees. While that's fun, you gotta realize the article is written by Randy Miller, who is at the bottom of the totem pole when it comes to Yankees beat writers to trust. This is the same guy who said the Yankees were topping out at $550M for Juan Soto when I knew for certain they were already in the $700M territory. There are a million other examples of moments where Randy was just nowhere near the facts of a story. He's best known for asking the dumbest questions to players after a game and is typically last to a big story, if not in a different area code. In short, I'm not exactly holding my breath when Randy says he's been told by Paul Skenes' teammates that he wants to be a Yankee. Maybe 20 year old Eric gets excited about this, but not anymore. Will I still write a blog on it and include Livvy Dunne in there to increase clicks? Oh yeah, I'm not above that by any means. Here's what Randy said. 

According to a Pirates teammate who recently spoke with NJ Advance Media, Skenes has “no confidence the Pirates ever are going to win” with him in Pittsburgh, and he’s “hoping for a trade” well before he can become a free agent after the 2029 season.

“Trust me, he wants to play for the Yankees,” the Skenes teammate said. “I’ve heard him say it multiple times.”

*Paul Skenes sits down for dinner with IKF last year

"Hey Paul, what's up with you?"

"Oh nothing, I just want to play for the Yankees" 

Heard it went exactly like that. 

It is interesting that Pirates GM Ben Cherington even acknowledged the story and said he understood Paul feeling that way. I guess he's self aware that the Pirates are poor and don't compete, two things that won't fly with Skenes for much longer. 

“I do dismiss it, but I understand it,” the Pirates executive said Tuesday at The Cosmopolitan. “What we’re going to focus on is just how do we win games with him in a Pirates uniform.

“I have a ton of respect for the Yankees, but we’ll just focus on what we need to do.”

The fact of the matter is that Skenes is going nowhere this offseason. He's under team control through the end of the 2029 season. They have one more year before he enters arbitration, where he'll set records for the most money ever given to a pitcher. 

“He’s going to be a Pirate in 2026,” Cherington said.

Cherington is hopeful that the Pirates will be a lot better in 2026, in part because ownership plans to increase payroll at least by a few million. It was around $87.6 million in 2025, ranking 27th among 30 clubs.

The Pirates are going to head into the 2026 season with a young, talented pitching staff that any team would die to have. What makes them unique is how cheap they'll come because of their youth. The only problem is that the Pirates have zero interest in taking advantage of that situation. The assumption is they are going to increase payroll by "at least a few million" to improve the offense. That's all they can do. The payroll was below $90M in 2025 and they hope they can up that number by a few million next year. Paul Skenes wants to win and that's not going to cut it. That's why he's going to get traded, it's just not going to be this offseason. 

Now where do the Yankees come into play? Conveniently Gerrit Cole and Carlos Rodon's contracts expire just in time to load up the brinks truck for Paul Skenes. There's also Livvy Dunne. Have you heard of this uber successful, incredibly talented, self-made businesswoman? 

Rob Tringali. Getty Images.

Conveniently enough, Livvy is from New Jersey and loves to frequent NYC. Sounds like a match made in heaven to me to continue her plethora of business ventures/modeling career. Yankees fans need Livvy to push New York all over Paul until it's time to decide their next home. Happy wife, happy life Paul!

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Alexander Tamargo. Getty Images.

John Angelillo. Shutterstock Images.

Randy Miller is an idiot, Livvy Dunne is not. Thank you for your time as we trudge our way through the early stages of the offseason. 

P.S. Skubal feels like a Met at some point this offseason. Too many things make sense for that marriage to not happen. Skubal in Queens, Skenes in the Bronx. How fucking fun would that be?