WATCH: Overweight Philly Fan Attacks Handsome Gambler On A Livestream, Hitting Him Directly In The Dick Due To The Eagles Brutal Loss
Our very own Handsome Hank had a helluva weekend in the gambling world and I think it deserves another look here. Not just for his Hungry Dog winnings or that incredible use of a Nic Cage GIF, but also for the incredibly angry outburst we got from his fellow Pardon My Take Producer, Max.
Needless to say, it wasn't the best weekend to be a Philly Sports fan. Saturday started out with a debilitating Penn State loss, which maybe didn't hurt too much for Maxwell, but was certainly a sign of things to come. Also he has to be Blutman's butler for a week now.
WE AREN'T!
And then the floodgates really started to open up… with the Phillies losing a brutal playoff game to the Dodgers and most certainly ruining this wedding Max was at too.
Tale as old as time for him I guess.
(2023)
(2024)
(2025)
Which culminated in a (4-0) Eagles game at home against the Broncos that suddenly became a must win for Max's soul & mortality. But Hank also crafted his classic HUNGRY DOGS PARLAY directly around a Denver upset.
Which of course made our Gambling Cave livestream the definition of an Unstoppable Handsome Force VS a Very Very Immovable Object.
That tension continued into the last leg of Hank's parlay, which somehow hit thanks to 379 yards of Baker Mayfield magic.
Credit where credit is due though, Max was smart enough to get on the Patriots bandwagon for the night game. Solid way to stop the bleeding and start with a clean slate on Monday.
Also… Is Drake Maye ELITE? Either way, insufferable Patriots fans are BACK.
But I'm burying the lead here because that wasn't even the biggest win on Sunday for The Handsome One. Spiritually maybe yes, but monetarily it was all thanks to Captain Riggs and his Writer Cup bet. What a day for the 'Boys!
Love to see handsome guys getting paid. What more can you say? Other than #VIVA brother! Congrats to Hank & sorry about all those fat jokes Max. You're clearly still nimble as fuck and more powerful than I could ever be.
But lest we forget, HUNGRY DOGS STILL RUN FASTER… Choose love next time. One time.
PS: STAY HOT HANKY!! BING BONG BANG BANG!