Could Hard Launching His Smokeshow Girlfriend Turn Anthony Volpe's Miserable Season Around?

Jess Stiles. Shutterstock Images.

To say Anthony Volpe is going through it right now would be a gross understatement. In what was supposed to be a breakout year 3 in the big leagues, the Yankees starting shortstop is potentially staring down the barrel of his final days in New York. That's how bad things have gotten on both sides of the ball. 

Volpe's 19 errors trail just Elly De La Cruz for the most in the sport. The hitting numbers are at the bottom of the entire league. 

Players like Jasson Dominguez and Austin Wells have witnessed their playing time significantly decrease over the course of the season because of their poor play. Volpe seems to be immune to such treatment, even with a suitable replacement now on the roster in Jose Caballero. A big reason for that is how much faith the organization initially put behind him when they recklessly passed on signing free agents like Trea Turner or Corey Seager years ago. Volpe was chosen as the future (because he came cheap) and now we're paying the consequences of their actions. Any other player with his resume would have been benched or sent down to the minors by now to fix his issues. Instead he's been given the longest leash you can find to become the player they envisioned. Not decision has proven to be detrimental to the team, the fanbase, and Volpe himself. The trifecta! 

While you're seeing some Caballero starts sprinkled in here and there, Volpe continues to get the bulk of the playing time despite no improvement whatsoever. Nothing like having a shortstop who is uncomfortable charging a baseball, has no rhythm on throws to first, poor mechanics, awful hands, and couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat. 

While hope seems all but lost at this point, maybe we should turn our attention to a theory from the movie Moneyball: an ugly girlfriend means no confidence. 

Now was this part of the movie used to shit on archaic scouts who didn't know what they were looking for in a ball player? Yes, but the A's also didn't win the World Series back then. Enter Elle Jowett!

While this wasn't exactly a secret if you ask the Yankees internet sleuths out there, Volpe bringing her out to Rodon's charity gala on their off-day yesterday sure seemed like a hard launch to the general public.  

Meet Elle, the scouts in Moneyball would have no objections over her. 

Elle if you're reading this, at least try to slip in the suggestion that he should attack the baseball instead of playing back and then rushing his throws to first. Maybe go through some tape of his old batting stance in the minor leagues? Dig up little league highlights to get the mojo going. This dude has no confidence right now and we gotta turn that around. You can be the difference, Elle. 

P.S. You will never get me to leave Twitter.