Christian McCaffrey Drafters - We Might Have Drafted The Ben Simmons Of The NFL If He Doesn't Play Week 1
This just has to be some sick joke from the fantasy football gods. I've been raving about buying the CMC dip all offseason. He's the absolute PERFECT "be greedy when others are fearful" player who has literally no excuse to not be healthy after basically two years off to rest his little wittle sore tendies. Yes. I drafted him last year. And yes. I drafted him again this year. And yes, he was my #1 overall ranked fantasy player in 2025.
You could say things are on the line for me.
But you know what? If something really is up here, I'm ready to say this is a complete scam and not a real injury. Nor was it last year. If he doesn't play Sunday, we are looking at the NFL equivalent of Ben Simmons. Except with talent. There's no statistical explanation for having this occur twice in back to back years mere days before the season. He's been rock solid all offseason. Just like last year. And there's been literally no setback nor any "we're keeping him out just to be safe" routine up to this point whatsoever. Full fucking go. All camp. All preseason.
I see you were able to show off for some social media posts Christian. How Simmonsy…
And wouldn't you know it. Less than an 30 minutes before the NFL opener, we get hit with this at the most impeccably timed news dump in the history of scheduled news dumps.
How convenient. Right when everyone is excited about the first game you try to sneak this by. You can't do this to us McCaffrey guys. You just can't. Not after last year.
Everything is up in the air until we hear more today. But I want you all to know - there is certainly hope. I've scoured the beat reporters and while no one really knows shit for sure, they are calling it "precautionary":
Now I know Bay Area Bob would never let me down, but it's on us McCaffrey stock holders to make sure he suits up Sunday. My approach here is clearly to bully him with Ben Simmons accusations. If he is really about to pull this shit on us again, that makes this all well beyond preponderance of evidence and even reasonable doubt that his entire job is to fuck over fantasy football drafters. Even FTX investors wouldn't be able to think of a more rotten, scumbag scam artist with a three-letter name acronym.
Fact: 40 million people played fantasy football last year according to ChatGPT. CMC was going for about $60 in auction drafts and the #1 overall pick. Converting all leagues to auction format, and that means he bilked 2.4 billion draft dollars from our very own community. Just robbed us blind with no sign of anything being wrong until an hour before Week 1 last year (late slate too of course).
On the plus side - he is at least giving us the weekend this year! So there's that.
We'll see what they say today. If this was all precautionary, then so be it. Just a simple case of CMC fantasy PTSD. We can get past that. But if he's "injured", then he's officially Ben Simmons of the NFL. He just doesn't want to play.
You don't really want to be Ben Simmons, now do you CMC?
See you at practice.