Dating Experts Warn That "Banksying" Is The New Ghosting AKA An Unexpected Dumping Planned For Months Using TikTok Communities & AI. Side Note The UN Predicts Our Global Population Will Start Declining In 2084!
(Source) - We’ve all heard of (and maybe experienced) ghosting, when the person you’ve been dating (or just chatting to, which in modern terms is often a substitute for dating in old terms) completely vanishes, cutting off all contact, or the similarly infuriating bread-crumbing. Less well known is throning, a bizarrely modern concept that sees someone date another purely for social or financial clout. And then there’s “banksying”.
This is the newest – possibly cruellest – dating phenomenon, named after the British street artist, whereby one of the partners in a relationship is blindsided by a sudden and unexpected dumping that’s been planned by the other partner for weeks or even months, often using AI and online communities for advice on how to execute this. While the banksy-er is left relieved – and their feelings insulated by all their pre-planning and processing – their victim is left cold and confused.
Good golly the dating scene in 2025 sounds like a goddamn war zone. I thought getting ghosted was bad enough but this "Banksying" shit sounds like a whole other level. Is true love even possible anymore?
To quote the late great head coach Hank Stram, "what the hell is going on out there?!"
I miss the good ol' days where the worst thing that could happen to you was catching the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show, ready to double team your girlfriend...
Now you gotta overthink even more. (Not sexy) And fend off pure anxiety that you're not really inside someone you love, but actually inside someones dastardly AI-driven plot to trap you in a metaphorical 'Saw' device. (NOT good) No explanation, no closure, do not pass Go. Definitely do not collect $200. (Kill yourself)
Seems like that's the vibe you sign up for when swiping right today. Less than ideal no matter what age you are. And if it continues on this current path, it's not exactly the brightest future for the human race on the horizon. In fact experts are predicting that before we even make it to the year 2100, creampies appear bound to become earth's scarcest resource. Sad!
Younger people are putting off (or being put off) coupling up and having children. By 2084, the UN predicts, “The global population will officially begin its decline. Rich countries will all have become like Japan, stagnant and ageing. And the rest of the world will have become old before it ever got the chance to become rich.”
Of course, there are other important factors at play in the stagnating populations – economics, access to contraception, changing attitudes to having children. But we shouldn’t underestimate how much of an important building block the attitude to dating and relationships is in our stability as a society, both now and in the future. If Gen Z and Gen A believe they don’t like or respect each other enough to safely date each other, let alone form serious, trusting, long-lasting relationships, the long-term consequences are potentially catastrophic.
Of course I'll be long dead by then so I don't really give a heck about any of that. Although it does make me chuckle knowing there's some data scientists and high ranking government officials somewhere on earth that are feverishly trying to figure out how to make this brain rotted TikTok generation fuck each other more. Or at least just long enough to pop out a few babies that will surely grow up to become well adjusted adults. Inspiring stuff!
Here's a firsthand example of how "Banksying" plays out, certainly sounds like those scientists have their work cut out for them. Inventing warp drive might be an easier task.
Rhiannon, a 22-year-old who had been dating her partner for almost a year, experienced it first hand. She and Amir had met each other’s families, lived together at university and had been planning on going travelling. Until, completely out of the blue, Amir ended their relationship. “I was beyond upset,” she tells me, “but what really tipped me over was when my friends saw Amir on TikTok (he blocked me) explaining to his followers how he’d done it.
“He’d basically been withdrawing from the relationship for over six months using advice from ChatGPT and his online ‘bro’ workout communities, so he was prepared for the emotional fallout. I wasn’t, and all the commenters online were laughing at me and congratulating him on his ‘strategy’. I threw up when I saw it.” The level of glee and cruelty I see on the video Rhiannon speaks about is pretty shocking, but typical: the consensus often seems to be the victim “deserved” the treatment, but in Rhiannon’s case (and many of the others), her transgression seems to be nothing more than being a good, loving girlfriend who was into Amir and their relationship.
I ask Rhiannon (who’s highly dateable – she’s bright, beautiful and kind) if she’s planning on re-entering the dating scene and her response is depressing. “No, I don’t think so. I feel like dating is over. Everybody finds it sad, depressing and at worst, humiliating. It’s like we’ve all become strangers who don’t trust each other and don’t like each other much, but are vaguely aware we’re still required to have sex with each other and live with each other at some point in the future. I can’t see that happening.”
Yeesh! Becoming a nun at 22 is nasty work but maybe this method of ghosting just hits harder than the others? I did also learn there's some other strategies all the cool kids are using these days… "Breadcrumbing" & "Throning"
breadcrumbing - dating tactic where someone gives a potential partner just enough attention to keep them interested, without any real intention of building a serious relationship. Including occasional texts or likes on social media, to keep the other person engaged, but without any plans to follow-through or give commitment
throning - putting your date or partner on a metaphorical throne for their social perks, rather than valuing their character qualities. Thereby increasing your reputation and ego
Makes me thankful I already accepted years ago I'm gonna die alone, likely from choking on a cheeseburger while Star Trek: TNG reruns play for the 1000th time. Loud & proud brother! As Stone Cold Steve Austin once said, "Fuck fear. WHAT?"
So as much as I'd like to give sympathy to all these lonely young people in pain, I also feel like it's really just further proof of the pussification of America. Hot humans are scared of putting themselves out there & dating because they… might get hurt? Possibly won't get explanations or closure? May have to face ADVERSITY at some point? That's a tale as old as time. Friction creates fire, it's part of the process. Trust it. Or don't, and instead come watch Jean Luc get turned into a Locutus of Borg with me. It's a two parter. It's NUTS.
But either way maybe we should all be trying to leave a little more mystery out there to discover, instead of just relying on dating app checked boxes & social media stalking to brashly make those decisions for us. Sure nowadays you can learn everything about someone before meeting them but you also don't have to do that. Variety is the spice of life as they say. Of course I don't know who "they" are but considering they came before us, you best believe they were cummin' constantly. Happily & heartily. We could all use a little more of that in our lives in this soulless digital age.
Enjoy it while you can folks, because before you know it oozin' creampies will be going the way of the sabertooth tiger & wholly mammoth and joining them on the extinct species list.
DO. YOUR. PART.